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I thought I would take a detour down a very seldom traveled road for this week’s blog.
I’ve been reading through a few email questions, so I just decided to post this because I think it will help many of you on the beginner and intermediate levels. Plus it saves me from having to repeat myself.
Let me say this, I’m not trying to “fire shots” at anyone, I’ll just be speaking in general terms. If you get offended, that’s not my intention, I’m here just to offer some “tough love”.
If this is one of your first visits to my blog then let me tell you a little about myself. I was a street Hustler and also a Mack. Not a pimp, but a Mack. I didn’t learn “Game” from books, I learned Game from other Hustlers (on the street level and the legitimate business level) and also other Macks. Because of this, my Perspective on what is now called “seduction” is a little different than what some may be used to.
What’s the common problem? Simply a lack of understanding about 2 things: (1) What being a man is and (2) How being a man relates to attracting women.
I see gentlemen taking some legitimate steps but you’re trying to catch women to validate yourself as a man. Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. You’re building up a false ego that’s very brittle.
This brittle ego is easily shattered because you’re basing how successful you are on how the woman responds – or doesn’t respond. In other words, you care WAY TOO MUCH about what a woman is thinking. In case you haven’t realized it yet, you’re not a mind reader. You’re wasting too much mentally energy trying to figure it out – and guess what? You’ll never figure it out! Why? Because you’re NOT a woman.
This is what I often see: If a woman responds positively to your advances, you feel great! If she responds negatively, you feel defeated. And I also see some gentlemen try to adjust their “Game” around defeats instead of successes. That’s like trying to drive a car with no gas. Some of you may have no (or sporadic) success and are wondering why.
To truly be successful with women you have to know what being a man actually is. Not how to ACT like a man, but BE a man. This actually has nothing to do with women (surprise!). If you don’t define yourself as a man FIRST, you’re going to have a rough journey to being successful with women. This is the raw truth.
This is the legendary Inner Game that many of you are familiar with. If your Inner Game is weak, your Outer Game will be weak. Period! This is because everything extends from you. Look around you for a moment... Everything in physical existence is literally a certain distance from you – everything is revolving around you – you are at the center of your own little world.
It doesn’t matter what “techniques” you learn, they’re not going to help you much. You’ll continue to struggle with women until you take the time to define yourself as a man. Women, who are attracted to men, want men! They want the genuine article, not a carbon copy.
You want to be better with women? Then sincerely and honestly define your manhood. YOUR manhood, not anyone else’s. All this ego-tripping, arrogance and alpha male bullshit is hurting many of you more than helping you. Some men can get away with that because... that’s THEM – but is that YOU? Do you even know?
Stop being the car with no gas! The way you dress, the way you walk, your physical appearance, your home, your vehicle and your jewelry may all be nice, but guess what? Those things don’t talk, only you do.
Those physical accouterments may catch a woman’s attention, but they can’t keep it. Your overall behavior as a man will turn-on (or turn-off) a woman quicker than anything physical.
These nice physical things are like an expensive car but, without gas, the car can’t go anywhere. What’s the fuel this “car” needs? Your authentic manhood. This is what makes all those techniques actually work. They need to be backed up with power – with fuel – and that is your authentic manhood which radiates confidence. How comfortable are you with just being yourself? Have you ever asked yourself that question?
To define and live in your manhood are what should be worked on first. Success with women comes as a natural side-effect. I didn’t want to believe that when I first heard it either, but it’s the truth. I speak from many years of experience.
The first half of, The Mack’s Bible, is all Inner Game. It has been designed to help any male define his manhood. I know, I know… it may feel tedious and you may wonder if it’s even necessary. Trust me, it is. And once you work it all out, it will be with you for the rest of your life. Isn’t that worth the time investment?
No one else can define YOUR manhood. Only you can. If you choose not to define your manhood, then guess what? You’re not living in the fullest potential of your manhood. That’s like shooting yourself in your own foot.
If someone asked you, “What makes you a man?” would you have a direct answer? If you never took the time to define it, you probably wouldn’t. How can you claim to be a man and you can’t even answer a simple question like that? How is a woman supposed to respect you as a man and you can’t explain to her what actually makes you a man?
Time to get real with yourself and get on your Inner Game! You’ll thank me later.
You can't be a BOSS thinking like a worker...
For the past 2 and a half years I ran an experiment. When I took a break from the world of entrepreneurship for almost 4 years, I stepped back in as an author, consultant and public speaker.
A lot had changed during those 4 years. Social Media exploded and marketing and advertising techniques had changed. The entire business landscape that I was familiar with, looked much different. The question I asked myself was, “Does what I learned and previously used still work in this modern environment?”
I released 3 books in 2014: Unlocking the Small Business Game, Holding Magnetic Conversations and Revealing the Secrets of the Game. These were my “products”. I made a commitment to myself that over the next 30-months I would use minimal advertising (less than $1 a day) and minimal Social Media exposure: extremely little posting, no videos and no live-streaming when that became a “thing” last year.
The intention behind the experiment was my need to KNOW for myself. Not to believe and not to follow anyone else’s theory of how to “make-it” in the modern business Game. The only way to do that was to jump feet first into the deep-end of the pool and find a way to swim.
I put a lot of self-imposed restrictions in place and had to apply a great deal of discipline to focus on the overall goal. It wasn’t easy either because in the back of my mind I was constantly thinking, “I should be BUILDING a business! Not watching, sitting back and just seeing what happens.” It’s just the Hustler in me… what can I say?
What I learned during these past 30-months has honestly completely shocked and surprised me – in a good way.
For the previous year, September 1, 2015 to September 1, 2016, my website has averaged over 4,900 page views and 1,300 unique visitors per month. Pretty good, definitely above average but not GREAT (getting closer though). My books sales have been strong. Again, above average but not great. Honestly though, they’re much better than I expected, all things considered.
The website growth and book sales did not completely come from advertising or Social Media – again, my advertising budget is only around $325 a year and I used minimal Social Media. Yes, they absolutely helped, but they contribute to only about 30% of the website’s overall growth. Most of the growth has actually come from my blog feeds, books and the best form of advertising: word of mouth.
While we’re on the subject – Thank you to everyone who reads my blogs, listens to the podcasts, reads the books and checked out the Audio Lessons. Without you, none of what I do matters. That’s just the truth.
Here’s 1 lesson I learned that floored me but yet relieved me at the same time… CONTENT IS STILL KING.
Here’s some business Game: In our modern world, it very easy to start a business. Perhaps it’s the best time in history to do so. There are a ton of accessible tools that can get you up and running with minimal monetary investment.
It’s so easy in fact that statistically (according to the Small Business Administration) about 50% of businesses fail within their 1st year – 16% won’t make it past their 2nd year. That’s a staggering number, but when you have so many people “giving it a try”, you also have a lot of people who don’t know HOW to make it work.
I completely understand. My first 2 businesses failed and back then starting a business was even harder and took a lot more money.
To succeed in business it takes what it ALWAYS took:
(1) Clear intentions and a clear brand identity
(2) Quality products and/or service
(3) Understanding the needs (and wants) of your market
(4) Properly focused and executed marketing and advertising
(5) Taking care of your customers (I could write a book on this one)
(6) Building a quality network
(8) Providing quality CONTENT in whatever medium you’ve chosen – be it Social Media, blogging or a channel on YouTube, etc.
What time HAS changed is the WAY these things are designed, structured and delivered.
Yes, I know I’m making all this sound very simplistic, but that’s my job – to keep things simple. Why look for complication when it’s not necessary?
My 30-month experiment has now officially ended and I feel… discombobulated (not a favorite word of mine, but it fits perfectly). There are so many directions to go in that I previously kept myself away from. I’m not sure of where to step first. I have an app on my phone that I constantly write ideas into and the lists have grown rather long.
So here I am, James the Hustler is back! Unrestrained, unchained, boots laced and ready to go. There are so many plans I want to put in motion but I also learned another lesson over these last 2 and a half years. Without question, the most important lesson of all… this isn’t really about me; it’s about each and every one of YOU.
The essence of The Game is self-empowerment. The reality is, there’s nothing I’ve accomplished that you can’t accomplish as well. There will be plenty more to come from me to help you get there! Until next time… stay in motion.
Business Education From A to Z - No Fluff Included