If you asked me what the essence of the Game is, I would tell you that it’s understanding a ‘certain kind of information’ on a deep level. This knowledge allows you to learn and analyze yourself. Once you do that, you will have learned about your real nature. Not what you have been conditioned to think your true nature is. Once this is accomplished, you will be able to understand the true nature of other people and how events “move and shake” around you. This places you in a position of control. It sounds deep because it is. Never limit the Game to what you think it is. Trust me; it’s a whole new world. When we dig into basic human nature, people generally want the same things. They want more of what they want. That sounds vague but it’s true. There are basic human desires we all have and there are desire that were “programmed” into us. Out of all the speaking, coaching and counseling I do, I've realized that there are many lies that people tell themselves that leave them feeling powerless and weak. For this post I’m pulling out 3 of the most common and easiest to explain. Enough rambling, let’s get into it! (1) You don’t care what other people think about you… I call bullshit on that. Yes, you DO care what people think about you. Stop lying to yourself. The way you dress, the way you communicate, the way you walk, the way you eat and what you eat, the way you try to treat others "respectfully" - All of these behaviors and mannerisms reflect the culture you grew up in and that of your particular social circle. If you didn't follow these behaviors, you would be an outcast. You would be called “strange” or “weird”. The majority of people can’t deal with the emotional and mental social pressure so they just follow the crowd. Some people aren't crazy; they just break under the strain of fighting who they’re supposed to be (by social and cultural standards) with who they really are. A chain breaks at its weakest link and the weakest link is usually an untrained mind. Peep Game. Stop telling yourself this lie because when you do things that go outside the boundary of social ‘norms’ you feel guilty or wrong. This guilt is a weight you don’t need to carry around with you. It’s like hauling 2 packed suitcases. You’re packed to go on a trip but you’re just going to your mailbox at the end of the driveway. The extra weight of suitcases aren't necessary. Don’t tell yourself you don’t care what other people think. Just learn to care more about what you think than what they think. Next, take Responsibility for that decision and deal with the consequences. (2) If ‘THIS’ happens, or if you get ‘THAT’, then you’ll be happy… No you won’t. Stop lying to yourself. Let me break down why. The untrained human mind is NEVER satisfied. Wealthy billionaires still strive for more money. Men who have literally slept with hundreds of women still try to sleep with more women. And for what reason? An untrained mind always desires what it doesn't have. It’s always looking outside of itself for happiness and contentment. You want the brutal reality? You are only really HAPPY when things are HAPPENING your way. And things rarely happen your way. Think I’m lying? Think about the last time you truly felt happy. Now think about what happened at this time. Things were going your way, am I right? Even if you were happy because of someone else, what you wanted for them, happened - or they accomplished something that you've always wanted to do yourself (or do again). Now ask yourself how long that happiness lasted. Probably a day or 2 at most - easy come, easy go. That’s not really happiness, sorry. The mind is like a vicious untrained dog. You have to catch it, put a chain around its neck and constantly struggle with it. Once it settles down and realizes it has a Master, it can then be trained. Accept the reality of your nature, because it is human nature – external events and possession will NOT bring you lasting satisfaction. Happiness, like many things, begins inside of you. But even that is predicated by the way you think. Perspective is both objective and subjective. Everyone is chasing the carrots on the sticks that THEY put there! Peep Game. (3) You deserve better… Do you really? Here’s a fact that you can’t deny – You can’t get something for nothing. You don’t get a check if you don’t go to work. You can’t receive love if you don’t give love. You can’t get the benefits of food if you don’t eat. Everything in this life must be earned; there is a price that must be paid. If you don’t pay the price, you don’t deserve to have what you want. Period. Many people say they deserve more and deserve better but many people won’t do what it takes to get it. It’s easy to do when you want a new car or a new residence. Why should working toward any goal or anything else you want be any different? You make a decision of what you want - you learn what needs to be done to get it - you make a plan that usually involves some sacrifices and you just go for it. But some people expect things to magically fall in their lap out of thin air. Do you REALLY want a better relationship? Do you REALLY want to be a successful entrepreneur? Do you REALLY want to lose weight? Then learn what it takes and then do what it takes. Commit to it! Or stop lying to yourself and move on to something that motivates you more. When you have too many of these weak “goals” and you don’t accomplish them, you feel terrible. You feel like you’re failing. You feel like you're lagging behind other people. You feel like you’re boxed-in. Nothing you do seems to work out. But that is the result of not putting in the necessary work (or half-ass doing it) to get what you want. Wanting doesn't get it. Wishing doesn't get it. And doing things half-assed doesn't get it. Stop lying to yourself and wasting the most precious resource in your life. Your time. Time doesn't wait on you to make up your mind. Stop lying to yourself about these 3 things. They rob you of time, energy, money, self-esteem, confidence and genuine happiness. They keep you unfocused and unmotivated and that’s not what we want, is it? Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Free news, early access to future books, discounts and answers to questions too controversial for the blog. Join now by clicking [HERE].
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Some people like to talk. Others like to ask questions. One of the most interesting questions I've gotten recently is, “How do I go from where I’m at, to where I want to be?” Now this is a very broad question. I mean I can think of at least 10 different ways I can answer this question off the top of my head. But when I really thought about it, I came up with what I think is the best answer. For those of you unfamiliar with my story, I’ll give you the two short paragraph version. I started my first business when I was 17. It failed. I started another business in my early 20's. It failed. But, I never stopped. I started my businesses in the worst possible way – jumping in feet first without a net. No job, no other source of income. Just a stubborn hard-headed young man with a dream. Fortunately for me, I was single and didn't have any children; otherwise things could have turned out much worse than they actually did. As I learned the Game and learned to Hustle things became clearer. I possessed what a lot of people didn't. Whether right or wrong, fearless or foolish, I ran head first into a wall that I eventually busted through. Now, I’m not saying just get up and quit your job throwing all caution to the wind. But what I am saying is that you have to develop a critical attribute in your character. And what is that attribute? Commitment. I hear people with dreams, goal, and fantasies of all kinds. Some are rather simple and mundane, others spectacular and grand. But regardless, nothing gets done without focus and without commitment. In the Game you realize before you commit to anything, you have to take it very seriously. I mean, your word is your bond. Especially your word to yourself. When I talk about commitment, I am talking about being dedicated to something so much, that if you died trying to accomplish it, you would pass knowing your life had meaning. Commitment like that is rare these days. People make goals and break them all the time. How many New Year’s resolutions have you kept? Now I’m not perfect, I do slip from time to time but one thing I never slipped on was my commitment to my life purpose. It has not changed in over 15 years. I have clarified it and simplified it, but the foundation of it has not changed. If you ask a Hustler (whether they are legitimate or in the streets) what the Game is about, they usually say, “Money”. A Hustler that responds this way doesn't have any Game. Trust me. You can’t have Game and be short-sighted. The Game itself was designed to last until basic human nature evolves. Money is not what Hustling is all about. A Hustler truly wants one thing, above all else. And that is his or her freedom. They don’t want to answer to anyone they choose not to answer to. Money is great, but it only greases the wheels and allows you into areas you wouldn't normally have access to. When I used to hang around millionaires I found that the greatest thing that distinguished them from other people was their focus and level of commitment. What I’m about to say, some of you may doubt, but it’s the truth. I've been around street Hustlers who reached the height of their Game. I mean, these men owned their own planes. They had money. I've been around legitimate Hustlers who started out going door to door passing out flyers and drumming up business, now they live in beautiful homes with paid assistants, chefs and maids. And despite all their success, they aren't more intelligent than most of you. What they do have is an unshakable commitment to what they’re doing. They push past the doubts, worries, fears and hesitations. They press-on and learn as they go. The same way I did. Some of these people called me a, “runner”. But to me, I was just a Hustler with Game. And yes, I keep it moving! So what are you missing? What’s the one element that I personally think is the key to success in anything? Commitment. Commitment is NOT making a plan then never following through. It’s NOT trying something for a few days or months to, ‘see how it goes’. Commitment is NOT looking to other people to get their approval or praise. Commitment is NOT throwing in the towel because you don’t see the results you want WHEN you want them. With sincere commitment, there is no “Plan B” – there are just adjustments of “Plan A”. Commitment includes drive, focus and courage. It’s the concentrated Dominant Force of effort. And a wise man once said, “Effort always pays off.” Peep Game. So, now my turn with a question for you – Are you seriously 100% committed to your Hustle? Success is not a straight line from point A to point B. It’s a winding road filled with potholes, downed trees and people wanting rides going anywhere but where they are now. If you’re not committed to what you’re doing, you won’t win. Period, point blank, simple. Until next time… Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Free news, early access to future books, discounts and answers to questions too controversial for the blog. Join now by clicking [HERE]. Whether you’re a Player or just an everyday average person trying to advance in this life, communication skills are of utmost importance. Your mouthpiece (the way you talk and the words you use) must be surgically precise at all times. Why? Because what you say and the way you say it can get you into beneficial situations and get you out of sticky situations. Other than learning how to think properly, you need to learn how to communicate with anyone because you never know when saying the right thing, in the right way, will help you get further in the direction you’re trying to go. This is PART 2 of our discussion on Verbal Chess. You can catch PART 1 [HERE] if you missed it. In this post we’re going to talk about breaking resistance when communicating with others. Effective communication is like playing a game of chess, you always have to think a few moves ahead. Think of it like planning or plotting. When you want a new cell phone you make a general plan. You look at the features of the phones, you budget, you shop around for deals – you think ahead. When you have a big social event coming up, you shop for your wardrobe, compare prices, put together looks and get your physical appearance together – again, you think ahead. People don’t do this when it comes to effectively communicating. You have to know what you want in advance, so you can steer the conversation in that direction. This doesn't have to happen all in a single conversation, but you should always be moving ahead with your plan. When we talk about Leading conversations part of what we’re doing is “sneaking” in suggestions and breaking down a person’s natural resistance. People have hundreds of thoughts rambling through their heads. And when you engage a person in conversation and present your thoughts and ideas, if their thoughts and ideas don’t agree with yours, they’re going to resist them. This is part of being human and is perfectly natural. The mind is built to protect its concept of reality. When you challenge people’s beliefs, ideas, concepts and social conditioning, they resist. Have you ever gotten into a heated verbal debate with someone and they got so pissed off that they wanted to get physical? When a person can’t defeat you mentally, their last natural response is to defeat you physically. Leading is the art of giving a request, idea or suggestion to someone with little resistance as possible. As usual, this is a fairly deep subject and the space here is limited so I will cover just one aspect. If you get it, then you can develop these ideas further on your own. So, if we want to pass on something to someone we first have to bypass their natural mental defenses – this is called ‘opening someone up’. You place them in a receptive state and then “sneak” in what you want. Does this always work? No it doesn't. This is why I suggest practicing this technique with familiar people first. If it fails you’ll have a chance to analyze what you did wrong (usually the wording and delivery) and most of the time you and that person can laugh it off. Let’s look at the following example: You’re a supervisor and you’re going to suggest a behavior change to one of your team members named Michael. He’s a good worker, but his work area is sloppy and other team members have complained. YOU: How are you today Michael? Michael: I’m doing good, how about yourself? YOU: I won’t complain life’s good. You know, I have to say that I really appreciate your attention to detail. It’s really nice to be able to supervise someone that doesn’t need a lot of follow up. Maybe you need to show other people your stuff; it would definitely make for a more organized work environment. Michael: Oh, OK, thank you. (The compliment you gave was used to ‘open up’ Michael. The compliment was carefully designed to lower his natural resistance to the suggestion that is coming next…) YOU: Speaking of organization, it’s funny to me that as detailed as you are (referencing back to the compliment), your work area looks pretty unorganized. You should tidy up the workspace. It’s difficult to look at sometimes. Thank you and I appreciate it. Please keep up the great work! You smile and then leave. You leave on a positive note to once again keep resistance at a minimum. The average mind has difficulty processing two opposite “feeds” of information at the same time. In this example we have a compliment of work and a criticism of work. What sticks with a person longer, praise or criticism? Most people (not all people) will dwell on the criticism which is what we want. We are calling out a change in behavior. But the effect of the criticism is lessened because there is also praise there. Unless Michael is in a terrible mood (or just an unstable person), these two opposites will ‘balance out’. He will remember the criticism but it won’t upset him, although he may feel annoyed (an unfocused mind is easily moved by external events). Some more brief examples: “I like the way you do (that), but you should add a little of (this).” “This is a nice area. Have you ever thought of going to (that) area?” “Thanks for bringing me this salad. I don’t like this kind of dressing though, but I really appreciate it.” “You want to win, don’t you? Don’t even think of giving up now because then you’re guaranteed to lose! Remember everything you've already accomplished in your life. You got this! ” Calling for a change in a person’s behavior is just one way of Leading. How powerful is Leading? Go back and really listen to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s “I Have a Dream,” speech with the Game you just got. Keep your Game Tight! Curious about Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Free news, early access to future books, discounts and answers to questions too controversial for the blog. Join now by clicking [HERE]. Story time! So, what makes a Hustler? Travel with me as I relate stories of moments that changed my life. I guess I should start this new series of blog entries off with an introduction. I used to live in a world just below yours. Some call it the Underworld. When people hear that term they immediately think hardened criminals, shady drug deals and sleazy dens of gambling and partying with danger lurking behind every door. Some of you all watch too many movies and listen to too much gangsta rap. The Underworld is a world that operates with a different set of rules and laws than what many of you are accustomed to. It’s a place where a person has to rely on their reputation to speak for them, long before they say a word. A place where you are judged not by a court of law, but by those you associate with. It’s a place where a person has to use whatever resources they have available and where the penalties of crossing too many lines are severe. Some of you say, that doesn't sound that much different than the "real" World – I used to think the same way. |
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