Who likes to lose? Nobody, right? But you can’t win all the time, that’s just not being realistic. There’s a saying in The Game, “Human beings don’t like to lose, but they won’t do what it takes to win.” When I was younger, like most young people, I never wanted to look like I couldn’t do something. When someone said I couldn’t, I would try anyway. I wanted to prove I could but the results were usually disastrous as you can imagine. Going in with no knowledge about what I was doing and backed with only the intention to look impressive usually didn’t work out well. Now that I think back, I can only recall a handful of times it worked out. What I’ve found throughout my years with speaking to people from all walks of life are that human begins really DO NOT like to lose. People who don’t even try to win, still hate to know they’ll lose. It’s a strange irony because some people get stuck in their comfort zones. They’ll run scared before they try something new – even it is may benefit them in the long run. It’s called a comfort zone for a reason. Winning is great. It’s where the accolades are, the recognition, the congratulations, the positive results and the “crown” we wear called success. Who doesn’t want that? But winning is the finish line, what about the rest of the race? Let’s be honest, most people never set themselves up for the BIG WIN. In fact, most people mentally defeat themselves before they even start. As soon as 1 thing goes wrong, that’s it! They get discouraged and throw in the towel. They immediately give up and go in another direction. There’s no nice way to say this, so I’ll just keep it real – this behavior is a sign of a mental weakness. This shows a mind that will never achieve a BIG WIN because it can’t focus long enough to see positive results. All things happen in and through time. Time is the leveler of ALL playing fields. You can be rich or poor; healthy or unhealthy; successful or not; but everyone on the planet only has 24-hours in a day. When people don’t see immediate results, they back off. Usually they back-off completely. That’s almost like driving from your house, to your friend’s house, but you suddenly stop and go back home just because there's a couple slow moving cars ahead of you. That’s sound ridiculous, right? Well it should sound silly, because it is. There’s supposed to be other cars on the road, just like there’s supposed to be adversity when attempting anything new. You can move around certain obstacles in your way as long as you follow the “rules of the road”. And certain obstacles will move out of your way on their own. Confidence is key in whatever you do. But confidence comes with experiencing SMALL WINS. When you get a SMALL WIN, this will usually propel you to keep trying – to do something again for a bigger result. The issue is, most people never stay motivated long enough to get a small win. Or they get 1 or 2 but dismiss them because they weren’t the BIG WIN. They look for fireworks and blowing trumpets to let them (and everyone they’re trying to impress) know they’ve made it. But with enough SMALL WINS, they would eventually get to the BIG WIN. Any forms of advancement, growth, improvement or success are all PROCESSES – a course marked by gradual changes. They don’t happen overnight. You can’t take a wand and magically materialize your ideal situation into existence. Every process involves TIME. If you can’t stay focused for a long period of time then you’ll never make it to the BIG WIN. And our “training ground” to garner any sized win is making the best use of your time EVERYDAY. You have to step up to the plate, EVERYDAY. Not try to see what happens, not test the waters, but making the same decision everyday until you see a result – a SMALL WIN. Then you keep going and learning and adjusting until you finally arrive at the BIG WIN. This sounds so simple because it is. This requires focus, mental fortitude and a degree of emotional control. Fear, doubt and worry cannot be allowed to take hold of you. When they do, you’ll give up. Consider the athlete that trains almost everyday with a definite focus for improvement. How about the singer, the author or musician who hones their craft by using it daily? Every small improvement is a SMALL WIN. There is something to be said for natural talent, but natural talent not used will only yield mediocre results. Everything you do, or plan to do, is a PROCESS. It will take time, commitment, dedication and sacrifice. And while you keep that in mind and move forward, you set a very powerful force in motion. A force that allows almost anyone to accomplish almost anything. And this Dominating Force is available to everyone. The first step to activating this force is decided on EXACTLY what you want. The next step is identifying obstacles in your way. These can come from within you (fear, doubt or worry) or outside of you. Once your decision is made, keep going until you start seeing results – SMALL WINS. Allow yourself to go through the process. Whatever process that is for you – nobody else, just you. Then one day you’ll finally arrive at that BIG WIN. This is Real Game, consider yourself laced. IMPORTANT NOTE: The first, Gentleman’s Game Class, of 2017 is this weekend so there will be no blog post next week. THE BLOG WILL RETURN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 15th, 2017. Until then, keep it moving! See you in a couple weeks.
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A fair exchange is not a robbery. But that depends on a person’s perspective on what’s fair. Take for example a close female friend of mine. She’s a sweetheart really, but she can get bossy when it comes to business. I’m all for that – things need to be right. She came to me with an idea for a business brochure. I thought that was a great idea, especially considering her market and the services she offers. Where my friend lives, people are generally not very familiar with what she does. Because of that, it requires a lot of explaining. If she had a brochure she could save some time by just handing it off with a basic explanation depending on who she’s speaking with. She found a designer who was willing to barter. He would design the brochure and she would provide her service to him for free. That’s a fair exchange. But that’s when the complications started. Poor guy, he wasn’t ready! Designing in itself is not easy. It takes time and you also want to use the elements the client wants. My friend however kept coming up with more and more revisions. Color changes, font changes, the use of certain images, layout changes, etc. All of this is fine and perfectly acceptable – but this delayed the finished brochure by almost 2 months. The final product is excellent; a job well done. The revisions seems to have paid off but was it worth delaying a much needed marketing piece? In my opinion, yes it was. I don’t think it should have taken 2 months, but things have to be right. Let me give you a little piece of business Game. When you have a business card, brochure or a post card as marketing materials, these become your sales people. They have the potential to sell your product or service 24/7 when you’re not around. These need to represent what you do, or have, very clearly. Poor images, color choices or a shoddy design directly reflect on you and/or your business. If they’re really bad, they will “un-sell” you and/or your business. When I teach the mentality of business I always stress that everything you do needs to come from a very clear CENTER. Everything needs to be cohesive and make sense when it relates to your brand. If you’re not being clear, you’re being confusing. And let me give you some more business Game: “A confused customer does not buy.” This simple principle extends to every business. When you go to a fast food restaurant, they have number combos. When you go to the movies you’re usually a line to buy a ticket. Available movies and show times are made clear. The process has been stream-lined for you so that nothing is confusing. Too much confusion and some people would just walk away. It may sound simple, but this is the psychology behind many choices businesses make. And only the “big boys” can bend these “rules”. If you’re just started out in your business, remember part of your responsibility is to make things CLEAR. Simplify them as much as possible. It may make sense to you, but it’s not you that matters – it’s your potential customers and clients that matter. Let’s trackback to the first sentence of this post, “A fair exchange is not a robbery,” and this works on many levels. When you’re doing business there’s an exchange: Your goods and/or services for money (usually). Most people want good quality at a fair price. If the price is high and people don’t feel as though they got what they paid for, they feel “robbed”. This works on the other side of the coin as well. If someone buys a cheap product and it doesn’t last long, they still feel “robbed”. Even though they know the old saying, “You get what you pay for.” A challenge that every entrepreneur faces is balancing PERCEIVED VALUE of their product or service with what someone is actually willing to pay. Too high, less potential sales – but you have to sell less to make a profit. Too low and potential customers may view your offering as cheap or low-quality – which means you have to sell more to make a profit. But you may be fighting an uphill battle because of its lesser PERCEIVED VALUE. So, what do you do? You research. You have to research your market, your potential customers, what your competition is already doing, what technology is coming in that may change quality for better or worse; and even perceived value for better or worse. Sometimes it’s best just to get something out there just to test the reaction. There’s a lot of analytics and some entrepreneurs find this boring and tedious. Personally, I’m one of them. But this is necessary work. If you treat your business like a hobby, you earn hobby money. Period, simple. To my entrepreneurs: Is that thing on? Is your mind, one of your most important tools, on? Or is it off? Do you keep yourself in the right head-space? Is going through 2 months of revisions for 1 piece of marketing material something you’re willing to do? Do you understand its long-term importance and the wide reaching effects? Word of mouth spreads like wild-fire. Don’t set yourself up to burn down your own forest. Remember everything you do must communicate clearly and simply. Think of that like a Hustler’s anthem. Until next time… Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Higher level Game to help take YOUR Game to the next level. Also receive news, discounts on future books and products along with early access. Join now by clicking [HERE]. I was having a conversation with a close friend and eventually the subject of fear came up. He realized that debilitating emotion was the root cause of many of his decisions. These decisions kept him from moving forward with business ideas; it complicated romantic relationships and caused problems with family. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you’re scared. A person’s ego will look for every excuse and justification in the book to keep a blind eye to what’s really causing an issue. Fear is one of those subtle emotions that if you don’t recognize it, it can literally Dominate. In The Game we say, “The Dominant force always wins,” and what’s meant by that is what is strongest will eventually come out on top. Even if you don’t recognize it’s there, even if you don’t see it or even if you’re trying to ignore it. According to studies, the fear of success is caused by the fear of failure. It’s the underlying Dominant force. When you fear failing at something, this affects the decisions you make. These decisions are usually decisions that will actually CAUSE failure – it’s a vicious cycle – a self-fulfilling prophecy. You fear failing, it causes sub-optimal decisions and the result of these terrible choices is failure. As human beings, there are also other things we fear such as being emotionally hurt, not being “good enough” (feelings of inadequacy), not being accepted, not feeling cared about, being embarrassed, being judged and many more. This is all based in fear. When I started my first business, I was doing a round of cold-calls and left a message with a business owner. I was 17 at the time and still living at home with my parents. This business owner returned my call the next day when I wasn’t home. My mother picked up the phone and the business owner automatically assumed that she was my wife. My mother was wise enough to realize this was a business call and just played along. When I returned home my mother passed on the message. The business owner wanted to meet with me over lunch and discuss possible future business together. Now, potentially, that was a good thing. But what did I feel about the situation? I felt fear. Here I was, just 17 years old. I knew very little about business and I was scared to meet with this gentleman and possibly embarrass myself. I made the decision NOT to go. In fact, I never returned his phone call. When I look back at that decision now, it feels silly. Whether that meeting went well or not, I chose not to even TRY. Who’s to say, we could have done business together or at the very least, I could have gained a mentor. That alone would have drastically changed my life. I don’t regret the decision I made, but I do recognize that decision was based in fear and therefore was the wrong choice. Live and learn, correct? So, what are your fears keeping you from? A better career, owning a business, standing up for your self-respect, looking into something you’re curious about? Fear is all imagination. It’s a movie or story that you play out in your own mind. It’s not real unless you accept it as something that can BECOME real. Can your fears become real? Of course they can but look on the other side of the coin – what if they don’t? What if what you want is just on the other side of the lie you have in your head? To not even try is to be dormant. You cut yourself off from making your life just a little sweeter. You can try to lie to yourself, you can make up justifications as to why you shouldn’t try something, but at the end of the day you know why you didn’t do it. It’s rooted in fear – plain and simple. Don’t allow fear to get the best of you. To change your life, you have to get outside of your “box”; your comfort zone. It’s really simple: the same actions produce the same results; same causes, same effects. If you’re not happy with your effects then you need to make different decisions. Our enemy fear will always be there. It will torment you; it will tell you whatever you want to hear. It will trick you and pull you back into your comfort zone so you can feel safe and secure. And in that place, you will remain miserable. The choice is yours, it always has been. Either you will or you won’t; you do or you don’t. You can’t play the “victim card” on this one, because nobody is doing anything to you, but you. In the Game we say, “Life is a series of problems that must be solved,” and one of biggest problems to solve is actually YOU. The way you think and how you talk to yourself need to change otherwise you’re going to have to accept your life not changing. Your life can’t change because you’re not doing anything to MAKE it change. It can’t happen any other way. Think about it. Until next time… Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Higher level Game to help take YOUR Game to the next level. Also receive news, discounts on future books and products along with early access. Join now by clicking [HERE]. |
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