When I teach the Game I reference a lot of it back to Perspective. Perspective is so importantly vital in life because it’s the lens through which you look at life and make sense of it. Let me explain what I mean. If I pointed at the color yellow and I asked you what color it was you would probably respond and say, “That’s yellow James, stop playing!” But how do you KNOW that’s yellow? Someone taught you that those reflections of the light spectrum should be called yellow. So to us it’s yellow. To people that speak other languages they also call it what they were taught to call it. This is nothing but a Perspective – a way to look at something. Seriously, there is nothing stopping you from going through life and calling the color yellow something ridiculous like, “foofie”. Sounds stupid I know, but I want to exaggerate this to help the concept stick with you. So what person could stop you from calling the color yellow, foofie? In fact, if you were extremely adamant that (to you) that yellow is called foofie, people would probably react 1 of 2 ways. They would either let you keep using name foofie by ignoring you or they would think you were crazy (or at the very least, uneducated). But those are also Perspectives. You cannot escape Perspective! I had discussed this subject in length some months back. And by in length I mean a debate. The person’s point was that there is no Perspective, only reality. This sounds good, it really does, but define the word reality without giving me YOUR definition. Because YOUR definition is YOUR Perspective. Also, can you define the word reality without using the dictionary? Because if you use the dictionary to define the word then we get into etymology – the origin of words. And the majority of English words come from other languages. So what we say in English is based on how people in other parts of the World, with different cultures and different Perspectives defined things. Again, their Perspective, reasoning and limitations (in some cases). Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you to realize that you have the ability to see things the way you want. You can live in the same World as everyone else but live in a totally different “reality”. Simple example: The regular routine for many, is to get up in the morning, get ready for work, go to work, come home, do what they need to do for their family and\or themselves, watch some television or talk on the phone or surf the web, then get ready for bed and do the same thing over the next day. And then the next day, and then the next day, and so forth for decades. People are hustling just for the weekend (their off days). Now to some this is perfectly acceptable and they’re content. Then you have other people (like me when I was younger) where that routine is like driving a dull knife through their side; and then doing it slowly so that it makes it even more excruciating. Similar routines but different Perspectives and therefore different “realities”. It’s not all subjective (based on personal opinion), it’s also objective (representing facts). These are 2 different sides of the same coin but we’ll go into that some other time. In our first example the person is generally fine with their routine life and it brings them security. And in our second example, the person has no motivation to wake up in the morning because the routine brings them misery. For those of you who are into so-called New-Age thought, you should be aware of “Positive Thinking” and “Positive Affirmations” – a method by which you talk to yourself to change the way you look at something (re-framing). And although this works for some, for most it doesn't because they’re missing a very important number in that math problem. What are they missing? A strong Perspective. You can talk to yourself all day. You can pump yourself up, motivate yourself and feel good for a few days and then find yourself right back in the same mental state you were before. These techniques often don’t “stick” because your Perspective hasn't actually changed; you just chose to “overlook” some things. Like putting a band-aid on a knife wound – not very effective. Your mind is designed to keep you grounded in YOUR Perspective. This is part of the mind’s defense mechanism to prevent you from going insane. Your Perspective determines how you think and feel about yourself and what’s around you – your VERSION of reality. You can change your Perspectives, but it takes more than a daily self “pep-talk” for most people. In order to change your Perspectives you have to know WHO you are first and also accept WHERE you are currently. The past is over and done with and the future does not yet exist so you can only deal with where you are right now and how you see things right now (your Perspective). Let me pass on something to you about Perspective that I normally only share with my clients. A true, strong, real Perspective must involve 3 things from you. What you think must match perfectly with what you say and that must also match perfectly with what you feel.
All 3 of these must match and be in harmony otherwise your Perspective is weak and the decisions you make from your Perspectives can be weak. Each of these 3 degrees of Perspective gives off a frequency, a vibration and this is a means to start a successful cycle of Rhythm (click [here] for an introduction to Rhythm). If you say one thing, but really think and feel the opposite, this is inner confusion and the results you’re striving for will reflect that. And this is the same as if you feel one thing, but think and say the opposite. This is why the Game advocates being brutally honest with yourself. You can lie to everyone but yourself and when it’s all said and done, you’re the one that has to live with yourself – the ultimate “gift” or the ultimate “curse”. If those self “pep-talks” aren't working for you, go deeper. You cannot deal with what’s around you by using what’s around you. You have to change it from within yourself first! Examine the way you look at yourself and life’s many situations, circumstances and problems. This will open a door leading to the self-empowerment many of you are seeking. Until next time… Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Higher level Game to help take YOUR Game to the next level. Also receive news, discounts on future books and products along with early access. Join now by clicking [HERE].
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Some people have a difficult time settling for just being average. And to achieve success in anything you can’t be average. To go beyond what average people do, you have to go beyond their self-imposed limitations. I’m talking about making sacrifices. While everyone is out partying and having fun, you’re studying and expanding your base of knowledge. While people are dedicated to their lack-luster “jobs”, you dedicate yourself to mastering a marketable skill; a skill that can make you money and lead you into a business; or using that skill to take you into your dream career. When we talk about great people and I mean in every field – the Michael Jordans, The Oprah Winreys, the Steve Jobs, the Guy Fieris, the Patti Labelles, the Warren Buffets, etc. We’re talking about people who've made a lot of sacrifices. Every person that became great made a decision to master a single thing. Now, that’s not all they do, but that single thing led them to becoming great. And to this day, they are mainly known for doing one thing extremely well. For those of you who read my books, blog posts and listen to my podcasts, you know I accept that what you put out into the World, comes back to you. If you make average efforts, your returns are average. If you make no efforts, your returns are nothing. Let me tell you a little about myself so that you get a clearer picture of what I’m talking about. I am a communicator first and foremost. Now there are many ways to use the skill of communication. For me, I write, I speak in public, I make sales presentations, I market and promote, and I also teach. All of these are branches that grow from a single tree called communication. Since I've accepted that I’m a communicator, I dedicate a lot of my time to mastering that skill. And I do this is one way or another every single day. For example, I write something almost every single day. Sometimes all that comes out is a paragraph but that’s one less paragraph I have to write tomorrow. I practice my tonality and delivery when designing speaking engagements. Even if I don’t have a speaking engagement coming up, I still practice. In fact, I usually practice while I’m driving. I don’t waste time listening to music, I spend that time practicing to become better at what I've chosen to do with my life. People in the cars next to me might think I’m talking to myself, but I pay it no mind. They’re probably doing the average thing... thinking and worrying about some life problems while hurrying to their destination, for example. Sometimes I turn my car into a university-on-wheels. I listen to audio books and podcasts to soak up information that I find useful. I study marketing techniques, I study great orators and I also listen to motivational speakers. Not because I need motivation (although sometimes I do), but I listen to their tonalities, word choices, delivery and the overall structure of their presentation. I want to constantly get better because I want to master my craft. In order for that to become a reality, I completely submerge myself in it. I've followed the examples of above average people and based my entire business model around my skill-set. And that skill is the communication of ideas and concepts. Is that all I do? No, but that is the area that interests me the most and love studying. The power of words has always fascinated me. Now let me give you a “secret”. When you think similar to above average people, there do come times when you need to keep yourself inspired and motivated. Once you know yourself, know where you want to go and have made the firm decision to get there, you’re running on fuel. This fuel is the mental and emotional energy you need to stay moving. And when you feel the tank getting low, you need to “gas-up” the tank. You know your tank is running low when you find it difficult to stay focused. Your tank is running low when you come up with excuses not to put in the necessary work. Your tank is running low when you lose sight of the vision that inspired you to get started in the first place. Check out this quote: “What you’re looking for is also looking for you.” I would only add, "When you're clear on what you're really looking for." This is just a reinforcement of the fact that people only accept out of life what they expect. Life can only give you what you ask for. And if don’t know what to ask for, or you’re not asking for anything then you end up with what everyone else ends up with – the average. Find things that keep you motivated. For me, I study books (mainly non-fiction) and watch movies that show people being great – doing things (and thinking) above average. Although many of the movies are fictional, they help me remember that I have to always push beyond the average. I know Players in the Game that study Greek Mythology. This does nothing for my personally, but they find motivation in the stories of Greek gods and goddesses. The physical appearance of their bodies also inspires them to continue working-out. I know other Players that are motivated by legendary sports figures and musicians and the stories of how they overcame their struggles. The point is finding something that works for you - music, movies, books, etc. And when you do find them, let them be part of your mental diet – what you constantly feed your mind. Especially use them when you feel your tank getting low. They should compliment your agenda (goals and/or Purpose). If you’re on the road to greatness, average thinking just won’t do! You must be constantly thinking about your next level and how to get there. After all, we do become what we think about. Keep it moving… until next time… Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Higher level Game to help take YOUR Game to the next level. Also receive news, discounts on future books and products along with early access. Join now by clicking [HERE]. Story time again! So, what makes a Hustler? Travel with me as I relate stories of moments that changed my life. I used to live in a world just below yours. Some call it the Underworld. When people hear that term they immediately think hardened criminals, shady drug deals and sleazy dens of gambling and partying with danger lurking behind every door. Some of you all watch too many movies and listen to too much gangsta rap. Not saying that things like that aren't a reality, but on the everyday average, nothing much really goes on. This story however wasn't your average everyday. I remember I was Grindin’ hard back then. I was running long “shifts” on the streets and it was slowly wearing me down. The problem with constantly Grinding is that sometimes you are so involved that you forget to look up. All that means is that you start missing important details because you’re too caught up with what you’re doing. I thought it would be beneficial to take a day off and just relax. It just so happened I got a phone call from the chocolate beauty Ms. Nica (Nee-Kah). I hadn't spent any time with Nica in a couple of months. When things like that happened I figured the old rule applied, “Out of sight, out of mind”. I rarely got upset about these things. I dated at least two women at a time so being on the outside of a woman’s radar went with the territory. That was the price I had to pay for the dating lifestyle I lived. In addition, my Grind was the most important thing in my life. I didn't have time to feel lonely. About four days earlier Nica came through my Hustling spot and greeted me with a big hug and gorgeous smile. She had gotten a new cell phone so we exchanged numbers. She also informed me that she had a new apartment. I agreed to visit so we could “catch up on things”. Hood lady code for: “Please come hit this!”. She even sweetened the pot by promising to cook. Nica was a sharp young lady, that’s for sure. I jumped in the shower, put on some impressive clothes, brought out the jewelry, scented-up and made my way into the hood. For those of you that know Atlanta, you know anything around Metropolitan Parkway (formally Steward Avenue) IS the hood. I hadn't been over that way in about a year when this story happened, but I still knew my way around so it wasn't a problem finding her residence. I made my way to the door and was greeted with her trademark seductive smile and a warm hug. She gave me the brief tour around her cramped two bedroom apartment and we settled in the living room. Night rolled in as we talked about regular matters for a while. She got up to cook – nothing fancy, just some spaghetti and homemade garlic bread. It was delicious. Nica always said she could throw-down in the kitchen but this was my first time tasting her cooking. Lucky for her it was worthy of a compliment. I think no comment is almost as bad as a critique with women who are sensitive. As we ate she went through her DVD collection and when I heard the word Breakin’ I told her, “That’s the one!” Breakin’ is a classic and I hadn't seen it in years. I finished my plate pretty quick and was captivated by the scenes flashing across the television and the memories those scenes brought back. Memory lane however, was interrupted by Nica’s cell phone ringing. All I heard was a woman’s voice practically yelling through the phone and all I saw was the wide-eyed look of worry painted on Nica’s face. She ran over to the television, turned the volume down and kept repeating into the phone, “Where are you at? Where?” as she paced back and forth. I sat there silently knowing that drama was on the other end of the line. I thought to myself, ‘Do I know how to run into drama or what?’ Sometimes you just have to invite the drama – face it and deal with it. Life is a series of problems that must be solved, after all. “Oh my god, Oh my god!” was all that came out of Nica’s mouth. She was visibly shaken. Her eyes were glazed over in disbelief, as if the foundation of her reality was crumbling around her. I approached her stunned figure. “What’s up?” I asked. It took her a moment to register my voice, “It’s my homegirl Tan,” she replied. I was familiar with Tan and the many stories Nica had told me so I asked the first logical question that came to mind, “Oh, did her and her man get into a fight again?” “Um… No. She was crying so loud. Oh my god!” Nica closed her flip phone and stared at it. “Wait. What? What’s up? Where is she at?” I asked as my mind began to run through a dozen scenarios. None of them good. Nica’s phone rung again, she echoed the names of nearby streets and flipped the phone closed. “Where we off to?” I asked. “Up Metropolitan,” Nica replied dryly. We hopped in the car and made our way up the road. Nica didn’t say much while she kept staring at her phone. I didn’t ask much. I had already ruled out the probability that there would be gun-play involved this evening. Although when you live a street life you must always stay open to that possibility. I made sure I was ready in every way I could be with the information I had. Which wasn’t much. The first lesson I learned here, when I contemplated on this situation later, was that information is king. You should have as much information possible before you dive head first into drama. Especially when the drama isn’t yours. As I continued to drive I saw flashing police lights and yellow tape in the distance. A large part of the road had been blocked off. “There!” Nica said pointing ahead. I turned down a side street and she practically jumped out of the car and ran to the scene. I maneuvered around and then parked the car. I looked around as I walked toward her. Nica had just finished a conversation with one of the officers at the scene. She turned toward the street with her back to me. She looked up and down the road as if she was looking for something or someone. As I came up to the police tape I saw a couple of News vans arriving. Nica opened her cell phone and dialed Jay. Jay was the General Manager where both Tan and Nica worked. They were all close-knit because they were all bi-sexual females. Nica told me a few stories and even threw a couple invites my way. I never had the opportunity to take advantage of those though. The timing was just never right. Nica spoke so fast to Jay that I swore she was speaking a foreign language. She gave our location to Jay then hung up the phone. “I talked to one of the officers. They say she hit a man with her car,” Nica said. I looked slightly up the road and saw Tan’s vehicle on the side of the road. I don’t remember the make, model or color but I do remember the windshield being buckled inward. The street lights reflected oddly revealing thousands of cracks. On the ground, a few yards from us, a body was covered by a white blood stained sheet. A few police officers had bent down to examine it. I remember then nodding to each other, probably reaching the same conclusion. It didn't take long for my mind to process what Nica told me before it left her lips. “Oh my god, I think the guy she hit is dead! Oh my god! What about her kids?!” Nica said. Furiously she tried to call Tan’s cell phone only to be met with voicemail. It seemed that Tan was in the car alone and her five children were at her house. I suppose you could say that was as about as silver as any lining was going to get. “She’s so fucked!” Nica turned to look up at me. “She didn't have her license on her. That officer asked if I could bring it to them.” Feeling powerless all I could do was console Nica and put my arm around her. Vehicular homicide was serious and losing custody of her children would only put salt in the wound if it came to that. Ten minutes went by and Nica still couldn't get Tan on the phone and couldn't get the attention of any of the officers. Jay finally showed up. She still donned her work uniform and she asked Nica if she could go to the restaurant and cover her while she tried to figure out what happened to Tan. Nica reluctantly agreed. We headed back to the car. I drove her directly to her work place. There was no time for a change of clothes. Nica’s co-workers looked on when walked in with a disturbed look on her face. They all wanted to know what was happening but I could see it on her face that mentally she just wasn't all there. Rest of the story short, Jay called the restaurant to tell Nica everything she knew. Tan was going to be taken in for driving without a license and her kids would watched by their grandfather. Tan was not going to be charged with vehicular homicide charges because there were too many witnesses that claimed the man was jay-walking. Jay was going to pick Tan up as soon as she was released and put up bond for her if necessary. Nica and I returned to her domicile after Jay arrived back to finish her work shift. After she relaxed a bit, we finished watching the movie. Nica and Jay passed information back and forth through text messages. I left just before morning after we had sex; I think it was around 3am. I couldn't stay I had business to take care of. Tan had gone to pre-trial and her bond ended up being about 200 dollars. A few of her family members caught word of what transpired and made plans to come to Atlanta for support. I never saw Tan or Jay again. I think I only saw Nica once after that night. Surprisingly, the next morning we had found out that the man did not die on impact! Wasn't that something? But… the paramedics didn't show up in a reasonable time (over 2 hours late) so he eventually did pass away. 911 was still a joke back then. Negligence, go figure. The main thing I had learned that night was what everyone always tells you. Your life can literally change in the blink of an eye. I would run into more situations that would re-instill that reality. Why do we take time for granted? It’s one of those things that we can use but never control. Consider the story I just told you. Five people’s lives changed forever so many years ago on that night. All from one tragic accident. We can’t predict how many people our words and/or actions will affect, if anyone. But just imagine if you purposely chose to affect people with your words and/or actions what impact you could make in the World. And it could all happen in the blink of an eye. Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Higher level Game to help take YOUR Game to the next level. Also receive news, discounts on future books and products along with early access. Join now by clicking [HERE]. Let’s talk about establishing a designed Rhythm for your life. This is an extremely deep subject because it represents very high next-level Game. Please take your time with this post. It’s not lengthy but there is power beneath the surface if you understand what I mean… This post is just a sliver of 1 of the MANY ways to perceive the principle of Rhythm. I have to be Responsible with teaching Rhythm because if given to people who have “bad” intentions, it can lead to the manipulation of others. That’ll make more sense by the end of this post. First question you’re probably asking yourself is, “What is Rhythm?” So let me define it. When we look at how we count time, we count time in “beats” and “rests”. Meaning, if you looked at an old analog clock, the second hand would tick every second. That tick is a “beat”. Between ticks (beats) there is a rest. A rest is where the clock’s second hand does not move. And when the clock’s second hand does move again (ticks), that’s considered another “beat”. So you have a beat and a rest and a beat and a rest and so on. If you’re a lover of music this should make immediate sense to you. This continuous beat and rest is a rhythm. It’s a cycle and our lives also function on cycles and there are many. The most basic is your natural Rhythm life cycle. Your Rhythm life cycle starts before your conception inside the womb until your birth. According to some schools of thought you are actually 1 year old when you leave the womb. Your birth was “destined” 3 months before the impregnation of your mother. So 3 months “preparing” and 9 months growing in the womb equals 12 months or 1 year. You enter the physical world and your “spiritual” self takes hold of your “physical” self. Whether you agree or disagree with that school of thought is irrelevant for this discussion. What’s important to know is that you have a natural Rhythm life cycle. So from birthday-to-birthday (1 year) is your own natural Rhythm life cycle. Another natural Rhythm cycle are the 4 seasons in nature – winter, spring, summer and fall. Depending on where you live, you may not experience all 4 seasons, but you’re aware they do exist. You cannot directly control natural Rhythm cycles like I described above. You can however design and start (and stop and even alter) any Rhythm cycle YOU create. For you students of metaphysics, the following analogy will be nothing new to you. But I need to cover this because I think every student of the Game needs to understand these basics about designing and starting their own Rhythm cycles [from this point on we’ll just refer to them as Rhythms]. Moving on… So when designing your Rhythms, it’s easiest to look at them as the 4 seasons in nature. This is not to be taken verbatim; this is just an analogy to help visualize how the Rhythmic cycles you start move and take on a life of their own.
Pretty straight-forward and simple, don’t you think? You keep putting mental, emotional and physical energy into something and this starts a cycle. And that cycle returns to its origin after it has done its job. Think of it like the rise and fall of an ocean wave – the momentum will carry it if the initial force (push) is strong enough. Now let’s bring this up a level because there is something you must know about Rhythm. At a certain level, Rhythm is about energy. You can actually cancel-out (neutralize) your own cycles. Meaning, you can be working towards something and stomp-out your own efforts. That’s not what we want! Peep the game in that. SIDE NOTE: Truthfully, that’s not what we want when we’re trying to accomplish something meaningful, like a goal. But, if you really know what you’re doing, purposely neutralizing a Rhythm can actually benefit you. You can “quiet” a Rhythm to alter the speed of the “beats” and “rests”. Or you can use it to quickly “slow-down” a cycle before it gains momentum. This helps so you don’t lose a lot of time, energy and/or resources. Anyway, back on topic… So how does this “neutralization” happen and how do we prevent it? As a simple example, let’s say you’re working on becoming a better husband or wife to your mate. So you make some decisions about things you would like to work on concerning your behavior. Things like being more attentive, showing more affection, listening more and generally being more willing to make reasonable compromises. That’s the idea, that’s your plan. And when that’s what you decide with no reservations or doubts, that means you have clear intentions. Clear intentions are one of the most powerful ways to start the momentum of Rhythm – the cycle of energy in motion – the winter transitioning into spring. So you’re going along fine for a week, maybe 2, maybe even 4 or 5 and then your mate does something that just flat-out enrages you. You get upset and emotional. You begin telling yourself that maybe, just maybe; they don’t deserve how well you've been treating them. You might justify to yourself that they don’t seem to respect the efforts you’re making. You may even tell yourself that it doesn't matter what you say or do, the relationship isn't going to change. You’re all worked-up and you unconsciously or sub-consciously (depending on your school of thought) begin a new cycle of energy in motion. You are mentally and emotionally moving yourself to a different Rhythm. STOP! What just happened? If you decide to listen to these new thoughts, you’re making another decision and you’re making a “plan” (going back to you old behavior). This “plan” is in direct opposition to what you've already been moving toward. You now have 2 opposing cycles revolving around 1 single idea – the idea of how you would like to be a better husband or wife. You allowed external circumstances to affect your internal Rhythms. And what happens now? These opposing forces cancel each other out. There are more factors in play but for the sake of this post I’ll keep it simple. So why do they cancel each other out? Because they’re 2 opposing ideas about 1 thing. You’re planting 2 gardens with 2 different crops in the same patch of soil. You will most likely not take care of (protect) either one. Even if you did, the growth of both crops would interfere with one another. Neither crop would grow full and healthy. You would have a little of this and a little of that.. or end up with nothing at all. I hope that makes sense. You can see this phenomenon occur in nature with sound waves – it’s called destructive interference. This is similar to what I’m referring to with Rhythms. Your Game is based on your Perspectives and decisions. These decisions work on Rhythms. If you disrupt Rhythms, your chance of failing greatly increases. If you allow someone else to disrupt your Rhythms, your chance of failing also greatly increases. When you set out to move right and then change your mind and go left, you stomp-out your own efforts and reap the rewards of a confused mind. And that reward is the great gift of… little or nothing! On a much higher level of Game, it’s possible to “disrupt” and “insert” your Rhythms into other people’s lives. They will move on your “beats” and “rests” – so to speak. In fact, people are doing this to YOU on a daily basis and some of you are completely oblivious to it. But I’m not going there in this post. “What you don’t know, CAN hurt you!” Peep Game and consider yourself laced. Until next time… Curious about the Game? Subscribe to the Uncommon Sense Adviser – Higher level Game to help take YOUR Game to the next level. Also receive news, discounts on future books and products along with early access. Join now by clicking [HERE]. |
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