Ever heard the saying, “What you resist, persists?” In this post we’re going to look at this saying from the Perspective of the Game.
What? You thought we weren't?
Diving right in… During these last couple of weeks, I've had some very interesting conversations. The conclusion? Some people try to avoid Responsibility so they don’t have to carry the weight that comes along with it. I’m human, so I’m guilty of this behavior from time to time also; but I do want to share with you an interesting way to view this.
Avoiding (or ignoring) Responsibility is one of those life problems that can sneak up on you. Then before you know it, stuff around you is falling like dominoes – one thing after another, after another. Like all problems, this needs to be solved.
First we have to answer the question, “What exactly is weight?”
Weight is what you acquire when you take on (and/or accept) the Responsibility of something. A few quick examples:
As you can see the concept is quite simple and we all carry weight with us every single day of our lives. I can read some of your minds now, “James, isn't this a ‘negative’ way to look at things?” And my simple answer is, “No!”
Then there are others of you who may say, “Well James, isn't this something that every mature person does?” Again, my answer is, “No!” Let’s dig a little deeper…
Since human beings are naturally geared towards increase (wanting more and more out of life), it would stand to reason that because we’re ‘wired’ this way that we are able to handle whatever we bring into our lives. But not everyone can.
Some people take on so much that they are literally in either a constant state of stress or in a constant state of semi-depression. They aren't happy. And even when they get those moments of happiness, they flee just as fast as they come.
I’m a big advocate of being Responsible. In fact, this is what this post is all about. But what if you’re bringing people, events, situations, relationships, bills and other burdens into your life that you’re truly not ready for?
Most people would teach you to slow down… take things easy… prioritize… organize… examine your life and stick to the most essential things. This is sound advice and I would recommend it. In fact, there’s a saying in the Game, “Never start a pace that you can’t keep up,” Which means that over-extending yourself will eventually lead to taking a loss. Concentrated power in 1 or 2 areas is much stronger than spread-out power over many areas.
(Brace yourself for the, ‘but’)… But, what if you’re not in a position to re-organize? What if you’re not in a position to cut things off or lighten your load? What if you've already taken on so much that (for a while at least) you have to sleep in the bed you made? Now what?
You must learn to welcome the weight. When you avoid the reality of what your current life situation is, this creates the stress… this creates the unhappiness… and this can lead to many physical ailments. When the mind isn't well, the body usually follows.
Change your Perspective – flip the light switch. Welcome the weight – don’t run from it. Invite it, embrace it and face it! “What you resist, persists,” Remember? When you find ways to resist and avoid the weight of everything you’re Responsible for; you’re taking away from the mental, emotional and physical energy that could help you carry your weight a few more steps.
Yes, you need to simplify your life and remove some burdens, but until that time, you have to accept the Responsibility of your choices.
A woman once told me that she used to literally cry real tears every single day on her way to work. She hated her job, she hated the commute, she was constantly talked down to by her bosses and the pay was at the low-end.
So, why did she keep that job? Because her mother had recently passed and she was now responsible for a sudden house payment. She also had a young daughter and now had to move her teenage brother in. Her life changed extremely quickly and the weight on her shoulders almost brought her to her knees. She had to take on this weight with almost no help from family and friends. In fact, some of her family were jealous because she lived in her mother’s house!
It took a couple years of pain, misery and almost losing everything before she “snapped” back into place. She then made many life-changing decisions and was able to lighten the weight on her. One step at a time. Today she has a successful career, is an ordained Minister, heads a charitable organization and has a great relationship with her daughter, brother and grand-child.
Welcome the weight, invite the drama; stop pretending that it doesn't exist. Stop running from it. Stop trying to hide from it. Stop resisting and open the door for it. Find a way to solve those problems!If you’re committed to the solutions, this will lessen unnecessary weight over time.
A consistent problem solver is one of the most sought after personalities on the planet! From leading countries, managing crisis, running companies, designing innovations, developing plans, and even handling everyday life affairs. That’s what a real Player forms themselves into – a reliable problem solver - an individual who's never burdened by the weight they carry. They carry it with calmness and confidence because within themselves they know they can handle anything.
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