FAIR WARNING: This post may make some people a little uncomfortable.
When we discuss self-empowerment we’re really talking about an overall mentality – a state of mind. It’s not something you say, it actually has to be the way you think and live every single day. This is the only way you’ll see meaningful results.
The main obstacle to reaching the peak-state of being empowered is overcoming fears. Yes, fears with an “s” as in, plural.
On the surface it may seem that you’re familiar with many of your fears. Some of us run from them; others of us bury them to avoid facing them; and there is a small few that do try to examine them.
When I speak about fears in this blog post, I’m not referring to “surface fears”. Normally I speak on surface fears because they’re the easiest to recognize but, for this post, I actually want to go a level deeper.
As an example, a surface fear would be you’re afraid to stand in front of an audience and speak. Many people have this fear, it’s easy to recognize and easy to talk about.
The category of fear I’m referring to in this post are deep-rooted fears. These fears are buried inside of us. It’s those things deep inside us that we’re terrified to tell someone else. We dread being told we’re “crazy” or “bad”; or even outcast from our social circle. Those things deep within that we’re embarrassed to physically express. Those obscure thoughts and feelings that we feel shameful over.
In other words, fears that keep you boxed in (or running back to) your Social Conditioning.
If you’re not familiar with the term then I’ll explain it briefly. Social Conditioning (technically known as socialization), are the “programs” or “apps” that run on the “computer” of your mind. These are morals, ethics and behavior patterns that make up what you accept as what’s RIGHT TO DO and what’s WRONG TO DO.
These programs/apps are given to us by our parents, television, movies, teachers, family, friends, etc. They are a mindset, handed to you on a silver platter. A way of thinking and acting that has already been designed by others. YOU didn’t design or define them for yourself so human nature’s default is to go along with the status-quo.
There’s a part of the mind that fights against any form of change. It doesn’t like new programs being “installed”. It would rather stick to what it has learned is “normal”.
Example: If you grew up being told that a good boy or girl always eats everything on their plate, then you would eventually do just that. All throughout your childhood (maybe even adulthood), you would eat whatever’s on your plate until it’s clean; even if you get full beforehand. You may even feel a sense of shame if you did not do so.
That’s a very amusing example, but consider ALL you’ve been told about how you’re supposed to act and behave in basic life situations. Just to scratch the surface… You were given programs on how to:
,All these programs/apps and thousands of others run constantly and you perform most of them without even thinking about it. They’ve become habits and routines. Very few, if any, of these programs were designed by YOU – they were TAUGHT to you (or you picked them up by watching others) and you accepted them as “normal”. Think about that for a moment.
Let me make this clear, I’m not saying these programs are good or bad. I just want to expand your Perspective on how much Social Conditioning you’ve been fed throughout your lifetime.
Now, what happens when something within you, a natural thought, desire or even a talent is directly opposed to one of your programs? What happens on the inside of you? What develops are conflicting thoughts and/or emotions. Some individuals get so conflicted that they take a long time to make a decision, or make no decision at all.
These opposing thoughts, feelings or talents are usually suppressed or ignored and become deep-rooted fears, shame or feelings of guilt. The lack of expression of these natural thoughts, desires and talents (coming from within you, not from someone else) lead to 1 thing – MISERY! The prime reason is because you’re not expressing your authentic self.
This lack of expression boxes you in. It keeps most of what you do (or plan) LIMITED. You’ll limit your goals, your ambitions and what you’ve tricked yourself into thinking you need or want. Case in point: You’ll tell yourself you only need so much because to want more is “greedy”. Have you questioned why you think and feel that way? Have you considered where that comes from?
Your Socially Conditioned programs may keep you feeling normal and safe, but inside you may actually feel scared, guilty or ashamed to bring out your authentic self. This is extremely dis-empowering.
To be truly self-empowered, you have to find and deal with ALL these fears. You have to free yourself from the invisible shackles of Social Conditioning. Those that you personally discover don’t apply to you. This is an inward journey of introspection and being extremely honest with yourself. Unfortunately, only a few will ever make that voyage.
Until next time…
IMPORTANT NOTE: The 2nd Cycle of the Gentlemen’s Game Class is coming this Sunday, December 4th 2016. There will be no blog post next week. The blog will return Wednesday, December 14th 2016.
If you’re a Gentleman and want to be invited to the next Game Class then sign-up for the Uncommon Sense Adviser by clicking [HERE]. Signing up is FREE. And for now, the classes are FREE too. They’re run online over Skype. So, what’s stopping you?