(Quick Note: The following message is not for all Ladies. You’ll know if it’s for you when you read it.)
So I’m having a conversation with a single woman in her early 30s. Seems she's tired of playing games and is ready to have a serious committed relationship (like many women). Not a relationship with me, I was just a sounding board for her frustration. Plus I have Game so she wanted me to keep it very real with her.
She wasn’t ready…
A lot of her frustration seemed to come from the fact that males either seem to:
Now, although I’m a reasonable man I don’t like the “victim” mentality when it comes to women. Some pretend that they’re keeping it so real, but oddly every guy they run into is just not “Mr. Right”. Every… single… one… of… them…
Some of these problems are a direct reflection of relationship BS. BS means: Bad Self-talk. You know… the things you say to yourself when you’re having those conversations in your head? Like:
Let’s chop up some Game, shall we? I find that some women seem to be under the impression that they’re special and different. But they never do anything to differentiate themselves from other women.
It has nothing to do with how you look (well… maybe a little), what you have, how you dress, what your hair looks like, what your make-up looks like, what you do for a living, how high your social status is, what car you drive, the fact your handbag matches your skirt, and so forth. None of this differentiates you from other women in the eyes of males! It does with women, but not males and even some men (yes, there is a difference between a male and a man).
Yes, we like women that look nice, care about their appearance and have some business about themselves. But that doesn’t make you different or special in our eyes. Why? Because when we finally get you to agree to that first date (which some ladies make it more a hassle than it’s worth), what we usually get is the same thing we got on our last date. And what do you ladies get from males? The same thing that YOU got from YOUR last date. And the cycle repeats itself. Disappointment.
The eternal truth of, “The same actions will bring the same results,” applies here.
Now let’s examine what you can do differently that will completely confuse the average male, but will impress him at the same time. When he runs back to his boys to talk about you, he won’t be saying how he just wants to “hit it”. Instead he’ll be talking about how you did these strange and different things and how he actually liked them.
He may never tell you that to your face, but trust me, unless he’s one of the slowest males on earth (and they do exist), he’ll be forced to put you in a different category. Mentally that is.
Don't allow your dating BS to take over and go back to just being another average woman… Anyway, here's some things to think about:
(1) Stop waiting to be impressed. A person accepts what they expect. If you’re waiting to be impressed and your expectations reach the moon, then you’ll usually find yourself disappointed. Here’s a thought, why not try to impress him for a change?
(2) Stop looking at your date as a potential enemy! Get to know him first. It doesn’t take much time. Sure, you may get his “representative” for the first month or so, but the real person always comes out eventually. Males aren’t good at keeping up with lies.
(3) Give the guy a compliment. You probably don’t realize this, but males (and men) hardly EVER get compliments. Women get them fairly often – we don’t. There’s nothing wrong with sincere flirting either – we like it.
(4) Stop playing so hard to get. Yes some men (and males) like a little challenge, but if you’re feeling the guy, stop pretending like you aren’t. What usually happens is he backs-off because he gets tired of chasing you. Why waste time on you when he can spend that time on someone more receptive? If you like him, your job is to keep his mind off of other females, not push him towards them.
(5) Don’t try to change a man. You can get away with this on weaker males, but when you face a real man you’re going to turn him off. And I do mean QUICKLY! A man is looking for a partner, just like you; he’s not looking for a second mother or older sister.
(6) The world doesn’t revolve around you. He has a mind and emotions just like you. Leave some room for him! I warn females about this constantly. When you make everything about you and only you, you’re alienating an important need of a man (no, that need is not sex). What is that need? Discover that [HERE].
(7) And finally, stop being so wishy-washy. Don’t want to be "close" and lovey-dovey one week, then don’t want to get “too attached” the next week. That’s frustrating. He’ll figure everything is good until he gets that, “We need to talk,” text. Now he has to reevaluate if you’re worth the time and effort. Isn’t that what you’re trying to test him on anyway? If he’s willing to put in the time and effort? You’re shooting yourself in the foot here. When he decides to back-off, don’t act shocked.
So there you have it, some very simple tips to help improve your dating life with males and men. And if you’re looking for a “real man”, then as a real man, may I suggest trusting in his guidance and leadership? Bickering over every decision is exhausting. You’ll usually find yourself by yourself… again.
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