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​Ahh, relationships... The ups and downs, the newness that starts out as “cute” and then just ends up becoming “nerve-racking”. Relationships can be complicated but they can also help each individual reach greater heights in life and within themselves.
 
Last month author, Anton Leonard Claiborne and I, were the first guests to be invited to Mrs. Kayl May’s new online radio show, Messages of Love. It was a great honor and we touched on a plethora of topics involving love relationships.
 
There are so many different areas to relationships that both partners need to tackle together and I think, Anton Claiborne did a great job of providing a very unique Perspective in his book, One Mind, One Heart, Many Hands. It's about running your relationship similar to how you would manage a business.
 
Enjoy the information and make use of it!
 
IMPORTANT NOTE: Unfortunately, due to technical issues, the first 30-minutes of the video has music playing over our conversation. No worries though, it’s all good from that point on.

Grab a copy of Anton Leonard Claiborne’s book for yourself right now on Amazon Kindle

​Hello Gentlemen,
 
I thought I would take a detour down a very seldom traveled road for this week’s blog.
 
I’ve been reading through a few email questions, so I just decided to post this because I think it will help many of you on the beginner and intermediate levels. Plus it saves me from having to repeat myself.
 
Let me say this, I’m not trying to “fire shots” at anyone, I’ll just be speaking in general terms. If you get offended, that’s not my intention, I’m here just to offer some “tough love”.
 
If this is one of your first visits to my blog then let me tell you a little about myself. I was a street Hustler and also a Mack. Not a pimp, but a Mack. I didn’t learn “Game” from books, I learned Game from other Hustlers (on the street level and the legitimate business level) and also other Macks. Because of this, my Perspective on what is now called “seduction” is a little different than what some may be used to.
 
What’s the common problem? Simply a lack of understanding about 2 things: (1) What being a man is and (2) How being a man relates to attracting women.
 
I see gentlemen taking some legitimate steps but you’re trying to catch women to validate yourself as a man. Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. You’re building up a false ego that’s very brittle.
 
This brittle ego is easily shattered because you’re basing how successful you are on how the woman responds – or doesn’t respond. In other words, you care WAY TOO MUCH about what a woman is thinking. In case you haven’t realized it yet, you’re not a mind reader. You’re wasting too much mentally energy trying to figure it out – and guess what? You’ll never figure it out! Why? Because you’re NOT a woman.

​This is what I often see: If a woman responds positively to your advances, you feel great! If she responds negatively, you feel defeated. And I also see some gentlemen try to adjust their “Game” around defeats instead of successes. That’s like trying to drive a car with no gas. Some of you may have no (or sporadic) success and are wondering why.
 
To truly be successful with women you have to know what being a man actually is. Not how to ACT like a man, but BE a man. This actually has nothing to do with women (surprise!). If you don’t define yourself as a man FIRST, you’re going to have a rough journey to being successful with women. This is the raw truth.
 
This is the legendary Inner Game that many of you are familiar with. If your Inner Game is weak, your Outer Game will be weak. Period! This is because everything extends from you. Look around you for a moment... Everything in physical existence is literally a certain distance from you – everything is revolving around you – you are at the center of your own little world.
 
It doesn’t matter what “techniques” you learn, they’re not going to help you much. You’ll continue to struggle with women until you take the time to define yourself as a man. Women, who are attracted to men, want men! They want the genuine article, not a carbon copy.
 
You want to be better with women? Then sincerely and honestly define your manhood. YOUR manhood, not anyone else’s.  All this ego-tripping, arrogance and alpha male bullshit is hurting many of you more than helping you. Some men can get away with that because... that’s THEM – but is that YOU? Do you even know?
 
Stop being the car with no gas! The way you dress, the way you walk, your physical appearance, your home, your vehicle and your jewelry may all be nice, but guess what? Those things don’t talk, only you do.

​Those physical accouterments may catch a woman’s attention, but they can’t keep it. Your overall behavior as a man will turn-on (or turn-off) a woman quicker than anything physical.
 
These nice physical things are like an expensive car but, without gas, the car can’t go anywhere. What’s the fuel this “car” needs? Your authentic manhood. This is what makes all those techniques actually work. They need to be backed up with power – with fuel – and that is your authentic manhood which radiates confidence. How comfortable are you with just being yourself? Have you ever asked yourself that question?
 
To define and live in your manhood are what should be worked on first. Success with women comes as a natural side-effect. I didn’t want to believe that when I first heard it either, but it’s the truth. I speak from many years of experience.
 
The first half of, The Mack’s Bible, is all Inner Game. It has been designed to help any male define his manhood. I know, I know… it may feel tedious and you may wonder if it’s even necessary. Trust me, it is. And once you work it all out, it will be with you for the rest of your life. Isn’t that worth the time investment?
 
No one else can define YOUR manhood. Only you can. If you choose not to define your manhood, then guess what? You’re not living in the fullest potential of your manhood. That’s like shooting yourself in your own foot.
 
If someone asked you, “What makes you a man?” would you have a direct answer? If you never took the time to define it, you probably wouldn’t. How can you claim to be a man and you can’t even answer a simple question like that? How is a woman supposed to respect you as a man and you can’t explain to her what actually makes you a man?
 
Time to get real with yourself and get on your Inner Game! You’ll thank me later.

​(Quick Note: The following message is not for all Ladies. You’ll know if it’s for you when you read it.)
 
So I’m having a conversation with a single woman in her early 30s. Seems she's tired of playing games and is ready to have a serious committed relationship (like many women). Not a relationship with me, I was just a sounding board for her frustration. Plus I have Game so she wanted me to keep it very real with her.
 
She wasn’t ready…
 
A lot of her frustration seemed to come from the fact that males either seem to:

• Lie about what they want.
• Don’t know what they want.
• Don’t want what she wants (keeps running into the wrong guy).
• Are waaayyy to sensitive (to the point where she has to push them away because they have “psycho-stalker” potential).
• Just want sex (the classics never die out, do they?)

 
Now, although I’m a reasonable man I don’t like the “victim” mentality when it comes to women. Some pretend that they’re keeping it so real, but oddly every guy they run into is just not “Mr. Right”. Every… single… one… of… them…

​Some of these problems are a direct reflection of relationship BS. BS means: Bad Self-talk. You know… the things you say to yourself when you’re having those conversations in your head? Like:

• “Why are all the good men already taken?” or;
• “All men are dogs!” or;
• “He wants me to do what?! What the hell am I going to get in return?” or;
• “If men can do it, so can I!” or;
• “A real man has to love me for me,” or;
• “All men want is sex,” or;
•  “I’m just hangin’ with my girls, I don’t want to be bothered right now,” or;
• “If he really likes it, he better put a ring on it,” or;
• “I’m done with love… this month…”
• And I could go on and on and on.

 
Let’s chop up some Game, shall we? I find that some women seem to be under the impression that they’re special and different. But they never do anything to differentiate themselves from other women.
 
It has nothing to do with how you look (well… maybe a little), what you have, how you dress, what your hair looks like, what your make-up looks like, what you do for a living, how high your social status is, what car you drive, the fact your handbag matches your skirt, and so forth. None of this differentiates you from other women in the eyes of males! It does with women, but not males and even some men (yes, there is a difference between a male and a man).
 
Yes, we like women that look nice, care about their appearance and have some business about themselves. But that doesn’t make you different or special in our eyes. Why? Because when we finally get you to agree to that first date (which some ladies make it more a hassle than it’s worth), what we usually get is the same thing we got on our last date. And what do you ladies get from males? The same thing that YOU got from YOUR last date. And the cycle repeats itself. Disappointment.
 
The eternal truth of, “The same actions will bring the same results,” applies here.
 
Now let’s examine what you can do differently that will completely confuse the average male, but will impress him at the same time. When he runs back to his boys to talk about you, he won’t be saying how he just wants to “hit it”. Instead he’ll be talking about how you did these strange and different things and how he actually liked them.
 
He may never tell you that to your face, but trust me, unless he’s one of the slowest males on earth (and they do exist), he’ll be forced to put you in a different category. Mentally that is.

​Don't allow your dating BS to take over and go back to just being another average woman… Anyway, here's some things to think about:
 
(1) Stop waiting to be impressed. A person accepts what they expect. If you’re waiting to be impressed and your expectations reach the moon, then you’ll usually find yourself disappointed. Here’s a thought, why not try to impress him for a change?

(2) Stop looking at your date as a potential enemy! Get to know him first. It doesn’t take much time. Sure, you may get his “representative” for the first month or so, but the real person always comes out eventually. Males aren’t good at keeping up with lies.

(3) Give the guy a compliment. You probably don’t realize this, but males (and men) hardly EVER get compliments. Women get them fairly often – we don’t. There’s nothing wrong with sincere flirting either – we like it.

(4) Stop playing so hard to get. Yes some men (and males) like a little challenge, but if you’re feeling the guy, stop pretending like you aren’t. What usually happens is he backs-off because he gets tired of chasing you. Why waste time on you when he can spend that time on someone more receptive? If you like him, your job is to keep his mind off of other females, not push him towards them.

(5) Don’t try to change a man. You can get away with this on weaker males, but when you face a real man you’re going to turn him off. And I do mean QUICKLY! A man is looking for a partner, just like you; he’s not looking for a second mother or older sister.

(6) The world doesn’t revolve around you. He has a mind and emotions just like you. Leave some room for him! I warn females about this constantly. When you make everything about you and only you, you’re alienating an important need of a man (no, that need is not sex). What is that need? Discover that [HERE].

(7) And finally, stop being so wishy-washy. Don’t want to be "close" and lovey-dovey one week, then don’t want to get “too attached” the next week. That’s frustrating. He’ll figure everything is good until he gets that, “We need to talk,” text. Now he has to reevaluate if you’re worth the time and effort. Isn’t that what you’re trying to test him on anyway? If he’s willing to put in the time and effort? You’re shooting yourself in the foot here. When he decides to back-off, don’t act shocked.
 
So there you have it, some very simple tips to help improve your dating life with males and men. And if you’re looking for a “real man”, then as a real man, may I suggest trusting in his guidance and leadership? Bickering over every decision is exhausting. You’ll usually find yourself by yourself… again.