Lately I’ve been getting an abundance of relationship questions from women. So in this post I'm going to switch gears. Although I’m no relationship counselor I understand enough about the male and female dynamic to deliver some much needed insight so have no fear.
*WARNING: Be advised, this post will get into some slightly mature subject matter*
I was fortunate enough to grow up with both my father and mother present in the household. My father taught me responsibility but my mother taught me about women in her own unique way. Like most mothers, she tried to teach me to be the “nice guy”. Or as we call it in the Game, a "simp". Most mothers do this unconsciously but it has adverse effects on a young man’s perspective on romantic relationships.
Let’s be honest. A woman can be many things but she can’t be a man. You can’t give what you don’t have.
The reality is, “nice guys” usually finish last and they generally get ran over by women. We as men are taught to spend our time catering to women and in doing this we sacrifice one of our most important needs. A need many of us don’t realize we even have!
Because of this we are never 100% satisfied in our relationships. One of our deepest needs is not being met. This is not the woman’s fault, it’s ours.
This deepest need of a man is not being nurtured, or “babied”, it’s not having a home-cooked meal every night (although this is greatly appreciated, trust me), and no, this deepest need is not sex either.
We love sex, but sex won’t hold a man – I’m sure many of you ladies reading this have already experienced that for yourselves.
A woman leans more toward needing security. She wants to be very confident that “home” is taken care of, and that all the relationships in her life are stable – especially her romantic relationship. She wants a man that is who he says he is and to be consistent in that.
But what does a man need?
A man also enjoys security because he is taught to help provided it, but one of his greatest needs is deeper than that. One of a man’s greatest needs is to be admired.
There is nothing that turns a man on more then to be respected and admired by the woman he loves – A woman who can “manifest” his truth (if he has one). A man wants to be respected and appreciated for his dreams, goals, aspirations and for just being a man in general.
To a man, a woman who is sincerely "into" him is worth her weight in gold. It’s not about her becoming a clone of him or losing her identity, it’s about her being “in tune” with him – understanding him as well as he understands himself.
We love it when a woman quotes things we say. We love it when a woman can see things from our point of view (perspective), even if she doesn’t agree. We love it when she backs up the moves we make.
Now when I say this, many women get very defensive and think I’m trying to insinuate that a woman should be submissive to her man. And that’s part of the problem, admiring your man has nothing to do with being submissive. In fact, nowhere in the dictionary definition of admiration will you find the word submissive. They are two totally different things.
What I’m saying is this, Ladies – just like you feel unhappy and neglected when a man is not giving you time, attention and providing for you (materially, mentally and emotionally), a man feels the same way when he doesn’t feel he’s being admired. He gets unhappy and easily agitated when his woman has no confidence in him and his abilities.
When you place little value on every plan, goal and personal interest of a man you are planting weeds in a garden of flowers. Too many weeds will kill everything beautiful that could possibly grow.
When this is taken to the extreme, this can even make him feel like less than a man.
Now, let’s get real here. Not all grown males can hold the title of being a man. Some grown males are still boys. Age does not define maturity. Manhood, unfortunately, just isn’t in some grown males.
Do these grown "boys" deserve admiration? Not in my opinion. And even if you’re in a relationship with someone like this, no amount of encouraging, fussing, complaining or bickering is going to change him.
He has to want to be a man for himself, not for you.
Let's air this out. What are your feelings and thoughts about this?
Leave a comment below.
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Until next time.
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