First and foremost let me state the old cliche, “There’s no place like home.”
Last week was great. I flew out to Dallas, Texas to spend a few days learning a “modern” approach to selling. This was hilarious to me because as a Sales Trainer myself, this was the same approach I've been teaching for the past 5 years.
I like to stay current with everything I’m about which is why I don’t complain when I have to sacrifice my time and money on the educational aspects. Simply said, being fake is a weak and fearful way to move through life. You have to be what you claim you are if you want to powerfully represent yourself. There’s Game in that (for those that know).
“Fake it until you make it,” doesn't cut it when you have Game. Real recognize real and anyone who is real will rip your “faking it” façade apart. You lose, period. Why set yourself up for failure? You should always be thinking of winning. You won’t always win, but why go into a situation with the odds already stacked against you? Especially when you’re CHOOSING to stack the odds against yourself?
That’s like trying to teach a dog how to climb a tree. Not saying they can’t, but you’re fighting an uphill battle. You could spend that same time training the dog to do something more suited to their natural abilities.
So, despite my time constraints, I made my way to the Stockyards in Fort Worth, Texas. It’s basically a few blocks of bars, restaurants, gift stores and more bars. I’m not a drinker so this didn't really appeal to me but I did have some smoked fish at one of the restaurants. It was damn delicious.
After that, the group I was with (all Caucasian and one Latino) decided to go to “Billy Bob’s”, the largest Honkey Tonk in the World. Now I don’t know about you, but I thought a Honkey Tonk was just a clever name. But no, it’s a real place full of rednecks, cowboys and a lot of country music. Many of you who grew up in the South are probably laughing at me right now. Actually to me, it’s nothing but a huge night club, just with country music and less half naked women.
Let me state, as a black man, to walk into a place where everyone is giving you double-takes didn't bother me. I expected it because I've experienced similar things in the past. I deal in reality. In fact, out of this huge country club, I spotted only 2 other black people. And 1 was the cook – go figure.
It’s the Game in me. I’m comfortable just about anywhere because I have the Perception that I’m always where I’m supposed to be.
The highlight for me, which might seem uninteresting to you, was actually seeing a Spanish couple tearing up the wooden dance floor salsa-ing to country music. I didn't even know that was possible but they did their thing!
No one said anything offensive to me and even if they did, I have the confidence and mouth-piece (verbal skills) to talk a person in circles. Some of my people reading this would have never been caught dead in a place like that. And despite your excuses, justifications and rationalizations, somewhere in there is also fear. This brings me to the point of this post.
At a basic level, there are 2 main ways to learn something (and yes there are deeper levels to this but just follow me):
(1) You experience it yourself – Like putting your hand in fire. Once you get burnt, you know from that point on.
(2) You learn from other people’s experiences – If someone jumps off a building and they fall to their death, from that point on you know the results of that course of action.
If what I just said is real, then by avoiding experiencing things yourself (or paying close attention to others), you cut yourself off from truly LEARNING things.
Natural ability aside, you want to know why some people excel in a given area? They learn through experience – trial and error, analyzing and adjusting and going at it again. Many people do things, just to do things and overlook the lessons of the experience. And other people are so filled with worry, doubt, fear and low self-esteem that they fear trying anything at all. They keep themselves jailed in the cell called their “comfort zone”.
Let me put it like this. Anything that is not changing and growing is dead. Everything in nature, from the smallest blade of grass to the largest tree is changing and growing. Your physical body itself is constantly changing and growing. But mentally you can be “dead”. A mental place of no change and no growth.
Mentally you can be in a place of limits – never wanting to experience new and different. You feed your mind the same thing day in, day out and then wonder why you feel like your life has no real meaning or purpose.
Stop me if you heard this, “Same actions, same results.” Now let me say it like we say it in the Game, “If you don’t put anything down, you can’t pick anything up.”
Part of growing and changing on every level imaginable involves movement. Mentally, if you’re not constantly “moving” (no, I’m not talking about thinking a lot) then you’re mentally dying.
Keep your mind stimulated with learning and growing experiences. I’m not talking about laughing at videos on Social Media either.
Your Purpose and goals in life should be something that you approach with seriousness and focus. Because when it's all said and done, the only things left of you, are what you've said and done.
Change and growth in life involves movement. You can't get there by standing here.
I'll leave you with my favorite line - "Keep it moving..."
Until next time.