(This post was inspired by a dear friend)
A Player’s life is very different than the average person. This largely stems from our Perspective on life and its many problems. While some people are quite content with talking about the latest drama going on in reality television and social media; or drama going on in their lives – a Player is very focused on a few key areas:
(1) Their inner growth (aka self-empowerment)
(2) Their outer growth (aka Advancement)
Like any individual striving for success, a Player understands that what you do today influences where you’ll be tomorrow. We look to our old friends cause and effect. So a Player wastes less time and strives to make more productive use of our time.
Because of this thinking, gaps are created (sometimes valleys or canyons) on the social level. It’s not that Players aren’t social – we just don’t spend a lot of time putting mental energy into unproductive areas. The average person does however, and this is where the “disconnection” starts with other people.
The result of our approach towards life leaves the average Player standing by themselves. We can be in a crowd full of people but still feel “alone”. We can’t fully relate to the average person because the average person can’t relate back.
It’s not that Players are selfish, egotistical or arrogant; it’s just trying to explain how and why we aren’t “normal” is like trying to explain calculus to a 5th grader (ohhh… that sounded a little arrogant, didn’t it? My bad).
Most Players pull themselves away from “normal society” not out of fear, low self-esteem or because we can’t cope, we just don't desire to “fit-in”.
This pulling back phase leaves a lot of Players feeling rather lonely sometimes. Since human beings have a basic need to be heard, when there’s no one that can REALLY hear you (and understand you), it’s like being a speck of pepper in a world full of salt. To the salt, the pepper is out of place.
As a Player, how do you deal with these occasional bouts of loneliness and isolation? How does a Gentleman or Lady sit on their proverbial throne in an empty castle? Here are a few tips to get you started:
(1) Fully accept who and what you are. This sounds basic but this is actually very deep. See, you have to accept that you ARE different. You have to accept that you must CREATE your lifestyle. Unlike the square (average person), you’re not reactive – you’re proactive. Squares wait – Players create.
Being a Player feels lonely because almost everything you do pulls you further and further away from being average and normal. This above average space is actually quite empty. Therefore, you have to accept that you must release yourself of the need to be heard.
You have to talk and be willing to be the only person that can hear you. At the same time you must be improving yourself and honing your skills.
(2) Remember where you fit into the natural order of things. Square consume – Players Produce. Both these functions are necessary. Everything in nature is playing 1 of those roles, or both at the same time.
While the square world revolves around trying to “get” and “have”, your primary concern should be to “become”.
Let me explain.
You must become the person who can hold and maintain what you want – mentally, emotionally, physically and “spiritually”. You must be strong and grounded in ALL these areas.
An individual’s mind can only think as far as it can think. When your primary focus is just going to go “get it”, you probably will get it. But, once you get it can you also keep it and maintain it?
Remember to decide on what you want to enhance your lifestyle first, then make plans to get it. Create your lifestyle; from the bottom to the top. Look at the details. What do YOU really like and want to have around you?
If you can sincerely answer that, then you’ll have an idea of the man or woman you must BECOME to create and maintain the lifestyle you choose.
(3) You cannot define yourself as a Player without there being squares. How can you define heat without there being cold? How can you define happiness without there being sadness? Simply, you can’t.
There are 2-sides to every coin. A coin cannot exist without 2-sides and a center. Players are the natural opposite of a square. However, we all start out as squares. Players just realize that the square way isn’t working for them so they seek out a different way.
Stop trying to fit-in and relate. Stop trying to act other than yourself. Only put that “hat” on when you need to and take it off when you don’t. Squares are the majority and as a Player you have to accept that reality.
To master The Game you have to master BOTH worlds. You should be able to move between them at will to do whatever you need to do. You have to see things from both sides of the coin – just like the nature of The Game. The Game itself is neutral; it’s just there to be played. This moving in-and-out at will requires a high degree of mental and emotional mastery.
This understanding starts by not fighting against Social Conditioning, but releasing yourself from it. You should want to fully understand it and learn to use it to your advantage when needed. It becomes a tool instead of a burden. Your world opens up instead of feeling confined.
My apologies on being slightly obscure, but when you put this together, you'll realize the isolation isn't that bad. You'll have more time (and less distractions) to do what you need to do - and that's to create your lifestyle. Then you can start sitting on your throne with more peace and contentment.
Until next time...
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