This week, we’re getting into some more Real game! In this Lesson we’ll be exploring an important character trait that radiates raw strength. Unfortunately, it’s a character trait that some people misinterpret. Before we jump into that, a quick announcement of an upcoming lecture featuring yours truly.
If you’re in the Atlanta area this coming Thursday, May 28th, please come by. It’ll be worth your time – trust me. It’s absolutely FREE to attend – The details are in the graphic below…
Back to the matter at hand… I remember when I was younger, I, like most young boys, was fascinated by a few things (this was before the attraction to girls kicked into overdrive). One of these things that fascinated me were men of strength.
I grew up with all the macho action movies of the 80s and 90s. Back when Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Dam, James Bond and others were the thing. It was enthralling! They would swoop into dangerous situations, kick-ass, blow things up, dodge a ridiculous amount of bullets, save the day and get the girl. All while only taking a few scratches and bruises.
Then you had the really cool movies where the male heroes showed intelligence, careful planning and unrivaled cunning. Such as, The Godfather Trilogy, and other gangster movies.
When I hit my teenage years, being “hard” was the thing. You had to be aggressive, you had to take no crap from anyone or else you were consider a punk. When I started street Hustling, this type of aggression was very common. You had to show no signs of weakness. You had to get loud or put your hands on someone to prove yourself.
I was always aggressive. Not loud or confrontational, but the way I moved myself into (and out of) positions, was aggressive. People used to have a hard time nailing down whether I was upset or just passive. I was usually neither – most of the time I was plotting.
Because of the Social Conditioning I grew up with, I used to think this natural side of me was wrong because I didn't “fit-in” with everyone else. That was until I met true Hustlers in the Game. These were the Hustlers who were extremely successful. They owned multiple nice homes, cars and a couple even owned their own planes.
It struck me as odd because their demeanor was very much like mine. They were polite, humble, well learnt, well spoken and only aggressive when provoked (or as a means to put themselves into certain positions). They weren't “punks” they just knew something that the other street hustlers I hung around with at the time didn't know. And what these common Hustlers didn't know was actually a weak part of their Game. Let me explain…
At the highest Layer of any Game, it becomes a “sport” played by Gentlemen and Ladies. All that petty street non-sense won’t work for you. These high level Players will play you very quickly. Why? Because they understand the mentality of someone who reacts from emotions. These elite Players show very little emotion.
The paradox: On the streets not showing some form of emotional aggression is looked upon as weak. While at high levels, showing too much of any emotion makes you look weak. Funny how that works, isn't it?
This is one reason why the common “street hustler” stays either broke or can’t get past a certain income level. They don’t mentally transition to “move and shake” with more experienced Players. That’s like a puppy trying to wrestle with a bear. Or as we say in the Game, “If your arms are too short, you’re better off not boxing,” so stay in your lane.
All of this emotional control, being “centered” and exuding “coolness”, has a term. And that term is repose. The definition of the word repose (that applies to what we’re talking about) is poise and composure. You’re almost never emotionally moved by anything.
This doesn't mean you don’t have emotions (we’re human) but your emotions are kept in check. The main reason is because choices made when you’re very emotional are often terrible decisions.
Like when we’re angry, we’ll say or do things we regret later. When we’re jealous we will say or do things that may drive away the very person we love. Or when you feel fear about doing something that will benefit you, but choosing to do nothing instead.
When you feel emotionally off-balance it’s usually because you’re spreading your energy out around you instead of concentrating it into 1 or 2 areas.
Being mentally and emotionally centered is something that can be learned, if you don’t possess it already. Some people try to fake this strong composed state by telling themselves things like, “We are all one and the same. Everyone is part of the boundless Universal Intelligence, just like me!” But then this affirmation is thrown out the window when a driver cuts you off in traffic. Then you catch yourself letting loose some choice words because you’re seriously pissed off.
That’s not true repose, that’s just acting. Like I explained to you in the lesson about Your Lens On Life [HERE], you can profess something out of your mouth, but if you don’t honestly think it and feel it, it’s not really you. In other words, faking it or acting like you have repose is not going to help you.
Real strength, in this day and time, is not physical or mental aggression. There were periods in history where that was necessary but now the strongest person is the one that can remain in a state of calm despite whatever is going on around them. This type of individual is able to look at events and situations from many sides and think rationally about the best course of action. Emotionally they remain unmoved because they know emotional decisions can be costly ones. This is one of many important elements that make up the peak state of the “Boss Player”.
So how does a person begin to develop repose?
Well it starts with learning to control the mind. And the best first step, from personal experience, is to learn to concentrate. In my book, Revealing the Secrets of the Game, I dedicate an entire chapter to a simple concentration exercise. Over time this will help you gain control over your thoughts and be able to direct the mind where you want it to go. You will learn to hold your attention on what YOU want instead of letting the mind take you where IT wants.
Once a certain level of successful concentration has been reached, you can begin to check your emotional responses simply by recognizing them and “cancelling” them out. Your inner dialogue will become more powerful than your emotional reactions all because you took the time to train your greatest asset – your mind and what you choose to think about (or not to think about).
Game is something that must be in you first before you manifest it outward. You must become what you want first, so you can earn what you want to have.
Repose. The strong state of mental and emotional control. Where no one can move you because you’re the only person that can move you. This means that no one can influence your actions and predict what you will or won’t do. Real, true strength is calmness. Not reckless impulse or false aggression. It reminds me of some of those old gangster movies I grew up on.
Until next time…
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