Real Game: The Misunderstood Art of Boxing-In

Welcome back for some more Real Game! I have to be careful with how I present this topic because when you just take it for face-value it can seem manipulative. Truth be told, this concept can be used and is used in that manner. But it’s unnecessary.

Another reason I wanted to introduce this concept is because when people are using this against you, you will be able to recognize it and “move and shake” around it without missing a beat. You can’t run Game on someone with Game. You can see them coming miles away.

Before I begin let me share the foundation of this concept by using an excerpt from my book, Unlocking the Small Business Game. It goes as follows:

“Let’s say I placed you in the Nevada desert, and took away your Identification cards, cell phone, all your jewelry, all your cash, credit cards and debit cards – meaning I left you there with nothing except the clothes on your back and the shoes on your feet. I then told you that you had to make it to New York City and you had three days to do it. How does this scenario make you feel? A little stressed or perhaps gives you a slight sense of hopelessness? How about your thoughts? Where does your mind immediately go?

One of your first thoughts would be on how you could replace what was lost. Or in this scenario, what was taken from you. A few of your next thoughts would naturally cycle through everything that you cannot do because of your lack of resources. Your mind would attempt to find a solution to the problem by first going over what is not possible. This is called negation and it is human psychology at its most basic.”

Now let’s begin to break this down by looking at how this concept of having limited resources leads to limited options and therefore, limited opportunities.

The symbol of a box is used because if you’re inside a literal box, there’s little you can do – you’re limited. When you’re “boxing-in” someone (also called “building a fence” or “fencing-in”) you're leaving them with few options. Someone left with few options is a person psychologically throw-off balance. It’s a mental matter because of the way the mind naturally works. The mind dwells on what it can no longer do versus what it can do. 

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The mind focuses on what’s lost (or missing) first.

For example: When you go to a fast food restaurant, you cannot order anything that’s outside of their menu. Try ordering a T-Bone steak from McDonalds and see what reaction you get.

Now, ordering from a fast food menu has no psychological effect on you because you have been “programmed” to accept that a fast food restaurant has a limited menu and you’re forced to choose from that menu.

But let’s broaden this idea. What if you go to an amusement park? You look at all the rides, food places and other activities before you, but you’re told that all you can do is sit on a bench in the middle of the park.

You can never leave that bench until the amusement park closes. You can’t eat, go to the restroom, ride any rides, play any games, have a bottled water, speak to anyone, move to another bench, find shade or move to cover if it rains, etc.

All you can do is sit on that bench. What’s you first natural reaction? You think of everything you can’t do. You could watch everyone enjoying themselves and riding those rides but you can’t do a damn thing. And then you’ll probably feel a little hopeless and/or angry. I mean keep it real, this situation is terrible!

Why would you even agree to something so limiting and potentially dangerous? You could dehydrate or starve, am I right?

If you were in this situation you would be “boxed-in”. Your options have been limited and this means you can’t take advantage of the opportunities around you. But here’s the kicker…

Every limiting belief you hold in your own mind limits your life options!

Many of us have become masters of “boxing-in” ourselves. Every time you think you can’t do something for any reason, you have limited yourself and stifled your potential. It’s one thing for someone to tell you that something isn’t possible. Telling ourselves something isn’t possible (or accepting what we were told) is something else entirely.

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Your limiting beliefs come from a number of sources – Parents, teachers, movies, televisions, friends, family, books, music and the list goes on.

At its core, the Game is about self-empowerment. Why do we need to empower ourselves? Because generally speaking, we were taught that there are limits on what’s possible.

And because of the way the conscious mind is built, we focus on what we can’t have more than what we can have. And what are the effects of this type of thinking over the years of our lives? Missed and ignored opportunities. We choose comfort and familiarity over Growth and Advancement.

I’ve said this before but it’s relevant here so I’ll repeat it... What is stopping you, right now, this moment, from running out into the street and playing in traffic? This sounds ridiculous. And I want it to sound that way.

There is nothing and no one preventing you from making that stupid decision (and yes that decision would be stupid). Only you can prevent yourself from making this decision. You could get up right now and go do it. Please don’t do it because in reality it’s dangerous. But my point is valid. You have a tremendous power already at your finger-tips called making decisions; or making choices.

But when you think something isn’t possible, you’ll decide that it isn’t possible. And you will lose from lack of not even trying. The Game is over before it has even begun. You’ve successfully “boxed-in” yourself. You’ve limited your options and also your opportunities.

On a much bigger scale, we all have been “boxed-in” to some degree through the cultures we’ve grown up in. We have a long list in our heads of what we can’t or shouldn’t do. And a short list of what we can do.

You’ve been placed, unknowingly, into someone else’s Game. And they know all the rules and hold all the cards, so to speak.

But when just dealing with the little world that each of us lives in, we have placed far too many restrictions on ourselves. The question to ask yourself is, “Why?” For those that know, Peep Game.

Until next time…

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