So, January is already half way over. Time flies, doesn’t it? I know many people buy into making New Year’s resolutions but, let’s be honest, many people never accomplish those goals. They usually never stay focused long enough.
When I speak to people and answer emails I’m finding a common theme that’s keeping many from taking that BIG step into thinking above average. And I could say it’s based on many factors (which it usually is), but it commonly comes down to – people don’t have a CLEAR idea of what they REALLY want.
If I asked you to make a list of the things you want to accomplish this year. Most people’s lists would be vague:
While having a target to aim at is extremely important, if you can’t see the bullseye (the center), then you can still hit the target, but not the CENTER. The center being EXACTLY what you want.
I was speaking to a young Lady about relationships. She’s a fairly positive person, optimistic and attractive. She’s tired of the run around and unnecessary drama that can occur with trying to establish something meaningful. She recognizes that she does want someone special but there are things she’s just not willing to compromise on. Fair enough.
I asked her what she wanted and I was giving a list of 5 or 6 things. Then I asked her what she DIDN’T want. This question led to an hour long conversation about her past experiences and difficulties that really bothered her.
I pointed out that while it’s good she knows what she DOES NOT want, she wasn’t that clear about what she DOES want.
Knowing what you don’t want is good – it’s a process called NEGATION. It can be used to determine what something IS NOT, so you can find out what something IS. Or in this case, what is NOT wanted or needed to determine what IS wanted or needed.
And while this can help you recognize many targets that you can aim and shoot at, it’s really best to only have 1 target. This is concentrated force going in a single direction; applied effort to yield a specific outcome. Simply put, having a Dominant force instead of using a weaker one. The Dominant force eventually always wins over a weaker force.
You can say I want a new house but, what kind of house? What kind of neighborhood? How many bedrooms? Garage or no garage? What is each room going to be used for? How big is the yard? Is the back yard fenced in? What’s going in the back yard? Older house or newer house? Brick or siding? Ranch style home or home with a full basement? Etc., etc.
This plays on your personal psychology because it gives the mind a focal point to work with. Let me give you an example. Many of you have probably experienced something like this before:
Let’s say you started thinking about purchasing a new car. And while you’re out and about handling your daily responsibilities, you start noticing the very same car you were thinking about buying. You may see it multiple times on the interstate, parked in different parking lots; it may often pass you on the road.
Here’s the kicker: Has this car you’ve decided to buy always been that prevalent and you just haven’t paid attention? Well, it has. But now that you’ve given your mind something to pay attention to, you’ll notice that particular vehicle much more – it will stand out like a sore thumb. You’ve given your mind a focal point and this focal point draws the mind’s awareness.
This works with anything. It could material items, or better personality traits you want to develop.
Back to the question… Do you know what you REALLY want? Are you clear or are the images you have in your mind just vague? The clearer the picture, the more Dominant the force you put behind it. Think of it like taking a photo. If you took a picture and the result came out blurry, would you keep it? More than likely you would take another picture so that quality was clearer. Clarity is a gift to the eyes as well as the mind.
Always be real with yourself – be honest. Go passed what you think others may think about what you want, unless they’re included in the decision. Go passed what society has told you that you SHOULD want. Be authentic, be bold and create a crystal clear picture of what it is you REALLY want because that’s the first major step to getting it.
See yourself as you want to be. See yourself already having what you want. Place yourself in a clear, uncluttered picture.
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