Do you fear failing? Of course you do. Accept it or not this is a very natural human condition. In this blog post I’ll explain where it comes from and how to use it to your advantage. We’re going in deep but first let’s get a few things out the way.
Let me first thank the Ladies of W.O.W. (Women of Wisdom) for allowing me to be a sponsor at their first event. The day went off fantastic and I look forward to speaking at one of your upcoming events – this one was definitely inspirational.
All these women empowerment groups - Men, we need to step up our Game!
Also, a quick reminder. Come out and get some knowledge of the Game, directly from me! The date is Thursday, November 13th. The time is 6 pm. I will be giving a 2 hour lecture on the Game. If you’re in the Atlanta area come on out, I would love to meet you. Check the graphic below for details.
Now, onto this week’s post. Click on 'Read More' to continue ...
The human mind is built a certain way. Now while I could literally write a book on a few lesser known conditions I think the fear of failure is universal enough that it doesn't need a long explanation.
From the time we are very young we learn to fear the unknown. Whether it’s a fear of the dark – A fear of speaking up for ourselves – The fear of not pleasing our parents and the list goes on.
Not surprisingly, fear is the opposite of courage and the fear of failure often prevents us from moving into situations that can actually be beneficial to us. At its worst, it stunts our development and personal growth.
All human beings suffer from this. No one is immune. Although we may have courage and confidence in some areas, there are always a few areas that we fear failing in.
The question is then, why do we fear not being able to be good at something? Another questions is, why do we fear not being able to accomplish something? Let’s get into the Uncommon Sense.
When I ask people what it is they really want out of life, the most common response is a list of things. I get answers from everything like love, respect, more money, able to see more of the world, able to have certain experiences, etc.
Then when I turn around and ask what’s wrong with their life now, I also get a list of responses. Then I ask, “Why don’t you change it?” And this is usually when I get another list – A list of excuses.
Human beings naturally want more. And by that I mean, more of everything we like (or think we like). We are “hard-wired” to want an increase in life. It’s this desire for increase that keeps us motivated or at least dreaming of more, but very few people actually do anything about it.
Our fear of failure includes the fear of disappointment. Not being able to do something well. Have you ever tried to do something new and were pretty bad at it? And although you may have given it another try, you go in the second, third or fourth time halfway defeated. You don’t think you’ll do good and because of that, you usually won’t.
The human drive for increase is a key factor that you must learn to make stronger than your fear of failure. And how do we accomplish that?
First and foremost, get all those thoughts out of your head that being proficient ("perfection") happens instantly. That’s not reality. Everything in nature grows at a certain rate - The trees, the flowers, grass, etc. I've said this before but it bears repeating here. A baby, learning to walk, can fail over a hundred times but they don’t give up.
Everything is a process, things take time. Growth happens in phases.
There is no reason to fear failing because the reality is, if something is new to you, you’re going to fail at doing it. You’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to make bad judgment calls and you’re going to feel frustrated and disappointed.
Now, let’s go deeper.
There are very few things more powerful than your Perspective. The way you look at something and think about it rules your actions.
Remember, people act and speak the way they think.
Your thoughts about failure and not doing something “perfect” are extremely powerful. How powerful? So powerful that you most likely won’t even try attempting something outside of your “comfort zone”. Your own thoughts, from your Perspective, cause you to do nothing or avoid the situation altogether. That might not sound deep, but seriously consider that for a moment.
In the Game, when we talk about the power of thought and thinking the “right way”, the higher level of that is the realization that the way you Perceive something, rules you. If you think you can, you’ll move forward. If you think you can’t you’ll move away or not move at all. Yes, thoughts are that powerful! You don’t look at it that way because many of you were never taught to.
Ever had a crush on someone when you were younger? How long did it take you to gather the courage to let them know you liked them? I'm sure some of you never did.
If the way you think keeps you from moving forward then stop thinking those weak thoughts! Think stronger thoughts that will move you forward.
It stands to reason, that if you know you’re not going to be good at something on the first few attempts, then why stop? If you’re learning to do something that you sincerely want to do, why stop? Just continue forward and go through the process.
Any successful person in their particular field will tell you that they failed many times. This is a universal reality. Why should it be any different for you? Get out of your own way. Stop worrying about failing and instead concentrate on what you want the end result to be. Accept the failures that come, learn from them and continue with your process of growth. Phase by phase by phase.
Remember, human beings are naturally geared toward increase. When you cut yourself off from this, you are settling for less and will get less out of life.
As I walk the streets of the many cities I've been to, I can usually tell a person’s mentality just by the expression on their face.
Those that have given up at the slightest bit of resistance are usually the most depressed, frustrated and scared people you will ever meet. Although they won’t show it, or say it, you can see it in their actions. People act and speak the way they think. Think greater, think bigger and your actions and words will eventually reflect this frame of mind.
Use failure as a measurement of progress because that’s what it really is. That’s some Real Game for you.
Until next time…
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